I had the fortune of missing the England game last night. I lie – I watched a little of it. I saw was Paul Robinson gifting Germany a goal (very sporting of him), and pundit, Alan Hansen’s new look – I think in the fashion world, it is called “The Tramp”.
He looked like he hadn’t washed or shaved for days and appeared to have strange sores on his face. Far be it from me to suggest that Mr. Hanson had been suckling the teat of Jack Daniel, but as the game went on, fellow pundit Alan Shearer became more and more slurred in his speech – probably due to the alcoholic fumes in the air, or maybe just because he’s a Geordie.
My media contact is working on finding me a picture of the unsightly Scotsman. In the meantime, check out this guy. He’s a heavy meth user, but doesn’t look too different from what Hanson did last night. Not that I am suggesting for one moment that Hanson is a drugs user.

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