NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY
On Friday night we watched The Shining. Not the Simpsons version – the far less scary original starring Jack Nicholson.
I haven’t seen the film in years, so can’t remember most of it. Like with Jaws last week, various observations were made while watching.
Firstly, the most freaky thing out the whole film was Jack’s wife. There was something about her which simply scared the shit out of me. Her eyes seemed to be far too big for her skull and her behaviour was more disturbing than when Nicholson picked up the axe. No wonder he was driven to insanity.
The second observation was this so called ‘shining’ between the kid and the chef. If they had this connection, why didn’t Danny tell the cook to call upon Arnold Schwarzenegger on his way back to the hotel. Arnie could have brought an AK47 with him and blasted Jack and all the crazy ghosts into a pool of blood. Instead the chef (predictably) gets killed.
Finally – if you know anyone who has never seen the film before, preferably someone with a family, show them this trailer and convince them they must watch it with their kids.
BRISTOL CITY 0-2 LEEDS UNITED
LEYTON ORIENT 4-1 BRISTOL ROVERS
COLCHESTER UNITED 2-1 SWINDON TOWN
DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE 2-1 YEOVIL TOWN
BATH CITY 2-0 TAMWORTH
At least one team in the West Country won today! Mind you, Bristol City were playing a super football team.
I’m such a sell out. Last month I was dining in Jamie’s Italian, after my lifelong dislike of Mr. Oliver and today, I did something I shudder to think about… I used an insurance comparison website.
I actually saved quite a lot on my total premium, so it was probably worth it. What I wasn’t expecting was The Queen of Essex to call me from my new insurance company to discuss the contract. That wasn’t a nice experience. I think I would have rather spoke to Apu Nahasapeemapetilon in one of those foreign call centres.
Honestly, if John Terry had a sex change, he would have the voice and intelligence of that girl I had to deal with.
Last night I dreamt that fire was falling from the sky. Apparently, so called ‘experts’ say you can read into dreams and analyse your innermost thoughts and what will happen to you in the future. What does this mean about me? Probably that I’m bloody mad.
I’m a little sceptical about dreams and their meanings. For one thing, I have enough random thoughts when I’m awake, so when I’m dreaming, all hell must get let lose. It’s just that I don’t normally remember what I’m dreaming about.
I think the more worrying thing is that while I was left concerned in the dream, it was because I had lost my iPhone and not the fact flames were coming crashing to earth.
I’ll be off to bed soon. I wonder what will be left in store for me tonight.
Tonight, the England National Football Team play a friendly. Who against, I don’t really care. I won’t be watching. I am still yet to forgive the players for the debacle in the World Cup. They haven’t cared about playing for their country for years, so why should I care about watching them? Bunch of tossers.
Therefore, I need some ideas of alternative activities to do tonight, which will guarantee more fun than watching England play…
Watch paint dry
Homebase is probably still open. If I leave soon, I could buy a pot of paint and a wooden board, paint the board and watch as the paint dries. A lot more fun than watching Wayne Rooney do his orangutan impression by yelling at the referee.
Watch Zoo Days (twice)
Never seen it before. It looks like a documentary about zoos and is on Fiver – a channel I’ve never seen. Best of all, there’s a Fiver+1, so once I’ve watched Zoo Days, I can watch it again. By the time the second viewing has finished, the football will have probably come to an end.
Break the kettle
Supposedly a watched kettle never boils. I could put that to the test. Without watching, it normally takes a few seconds to heat the water. By that logic, I could boil it about 50 times in 90 minutes. I could watch and find out. I might even try boiling it with no water inside to see what happens.
Clean the flat
I’ve actually cleaned it already tonight. But I am sure there are some bits of dirt and dust the vacuum cleaner missed! If I crawl around on my hands and knees with pair of tweezers, there’s surely bits of fluff and crumbs stuck in the carpet. Two hours of boredom, but more fun and productive than watching England.
Remember the good old days
I could spend the entire evening on YouTube, watching videos of Euro 96 when the England players actually gave a shit. Look at Gareth Southgate and Psycho Pearce belt out that national anthem. Sadly, things will never be like this again.
Watch rugby highlights
Now that is going too far!
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
