Yesterday evening, we were treated to a live show – a collection of shows from famous musicals. Don’t ask me to recall which ones – I’ve only seen two – Evita, at the cinema, almost twenty years ago; and Joseph, earlier this year. None of the songs I know from those were featured last night. It was good all the same.

Drinks were split. At the start of the night, a man split a fellow passenger’s drink all over him and his wife. The drinkless, beer drenched man looked rather annoyed, and even a replacement pint didn’t appear to cheer him up. At the end of the show, it was my turn to spill – or was it? I thought Claire had done the crime – sending a bottle of coke flying over ourselves and a nearby seat. She denied it. Someone must have, presumably while we were applauding the end of the show.

It was Indian night at the buffet. I went for my usual – chicken tikka masala, with rice. I’m a self-confessed, typical Englishman – not very advantageous and very much a fan of my home comforts! Seeing as most of the tikka tray was empty, I wasn’t the only one! I made a BIG mistake with dessert. I saw a small bowl full of what I believed to be Indian rice pudding. How wrong I was. After taking a small bite, I realised it was anything but creamed rice. Instead, it was some form of rice, bound together with herbs and spices – very much a savoury side dish. Claire rightly pointed out that I had found it in the salad bar, so only had myself to blame for being such a tit.

Today’s ‘school trip’ was on a minubus, filled with mainly pensioners, through the streets of Gibraltar. It was hot and sunny – finally! This made Claire very happy indeed! Gibraltar is like England except very hot and everything is cheap – probably because taxes are much lower. I’ve decided that I want to live there. They even have a Morrison’s supermarket and M&S.

We stopped off at Europa Point. The southern most point of Europe. You could even see Africa, just a few miles across the sea. Gibraltar is famous for its monkeys. So far, I was yet to see any. We drove to a nearby hotel. Still no apes. There was, however, hot drinks and scones.

The wall of the hotel had photos of many celebrities who had stayed in its rooms, over the years – some very famous people, like Sean Connery, Roger Moore and John Lennon. Some more Z-list, such as Alex Ferguson.

We slowly drove back to the port, via the airport, where we were able to drive across the runway! Off the minibus, I picked up a few souvenirs, before queuing for AGES to get back aboard. On deck, we saw our first proper ‘sailaway’. We’ve now retired to our cabin for some much deserved rest, in time for the evening fun.

[Photos from the day]

Last night, we were entertained by live music from Phil Collins – except it wasn’t Phil Collins, it was a tribute act from a man called Rob Lewis. He was very good, all the same. We discovered Rob had appeared on ‘Stars in Their Eyes’, although it wasn’t mentioned if he won the competition or not.

We retired to our cabin and bed, as had an early start in the morning – our second port – Lisbon, Portugal. The port allowed us to really take in the size of our ship, Ventura – something we hadn’t really been able to until today.

The excursion took us through the Portuguese capital. I wasn’t too impressed with the sights, if I’m honest. There were few historical buildings, due to an earthquake a few hundred years ago, which destroyed the city.

Our coach drove us out of Lisbon, to a nearby town, which had a beautiful beach. We sat in the sun, alongside the sea and sand; taking in the surroundings and enjoying our first real experience of a traditional Mediterranean climate.

We arrived back at our port, along with what looked like every other passenger on the cruise – we had to queue for what seemed like ages while going through security. Reassuringly, the ship is very secure – maybe too much so – some small metal bits on my shorts set the metal detector off!

Our return to Ventura was well timed, as it started to rain. I hear there is a heat wave back home in England. Claire thinks we’ll be returning to find everyone tanned, while we’ll remain pale white.

Very tired, following our morning, we ordered room service – all free! This afternoon has been a much-needed chance to unwind. I think we will venture out later, catch a show and have another early night. Tomorrow’s trip, in Gibraltar, doesn’t start until late morning, so I will have chance to have a lie in – a luxury that I’ve missed since going on Honeymoon!

[Photos from the day]