I have had Red Dead Redemption 2 since Friday.

Instead of writing some long, boring review that nobody will read, I’ve done a list of my early observations and thoughts… which nobody will read.

• There are few things scarier in life than the moment you are chased by a pack of wolves, during an early mission. OK… getting chased by a pack of wolves in real life is probably more frightening… just.
• You can shoot alligators. Were they endangered in the Wild West era? If not, they soon will be.
• My wife has banned me from killing any of the in-game bunnies. Fair enough, but she has no problem with me blasting humans with a shotgun.
• Don’t run into a tree while riding a horse. Don’t ask why. Just don’t do it.
• Killing random people in fields, especially rival gang members, is great fun. Kicking their corpse off a cliff is a wonderful icing on a glorious cake.
• Never, ever punch your horse. I did once – by accident. I was meant to groom it, but pressed the wrong button. The animal went mental!
• Advice from a work colleague: Townsfolk really don’t like it if you shoot their dogs.
• Train robberies are not easy to pull off. Which is probably why you never hear of Virgin Trains being held up by cowboys in Braintree.
• Wolf meat cannot be sold for much money. It’s the same nowadays. You’ll never find Wolf Steaks in the Waitrose Deli. Those cheap sausages, on sale in German supermarket chains, are rumoured to be 7% wolf.
• Lassooing people off their horse, before kidnapping them, will never get boring.