When it was inevitably confirmed that Leeds would face Derby in the Play Offs, the spying story was resurrected…

Resurrected primarily by “journists” – if you can call them that, considering they write for The Sun, Star and Daily Heil, I mean Mail.

Calling someone a journalist, because they write reports for The Star, is the equivalent of a teenager referring to himself as a “head chef”, because he works at McDonald’s, has five stars on his name badge and heats up beef patties, in order to make a 99p hamburger.

Anyway, cue hysteria over the media-darling Frank Lampard. The England legend who won countless honours for his country. So many, that he doesn’t like to talk about them…

Always keen to make light of any situation – good or bad, hilarious or tragic * – Leeds fans wrote a song for Fat Frank.
* based upon this, don’t invite a group of intoxicated Leeds supporters to your great aunt Doris’ funeral.

So, to the tune of the Oasis classic, Stop Crying Your Heart Out…

Cos all of the spies have faded away,
Try not to worry,
You’ll beat us some day.
We beat you at home
and we beat you away.
Stop crying Frank Lampard.

The singing must have worked, as Leeds won the game 1-0.

No doubt it’ll all end in misery for Leeds fans on Wednesday, when Derby visit Elland Road, for the second leg, of these horrendous play offs…

Lampard is a ‘dead cert’ to beat Leeds and reach Wembley, so that he can face his former Chelsea Chum and all round disgusting human being, John Terry, who is currently involved with Aston Villa…

I suppose it’s better that Terry be involved with some brummie football club, than with a team mate’s girlfriend.