Despite taking a bit of an interest in some aspects of politics (I’m no Andrew Marr), until today I have never watched a House of Commons debate.

I came home from work, to find Claire watching BBC Politics. Again, like me, she hasn’t watched the channel before – at least not without my knowledge.

The debate focused on the ongoing saga of Brexit. Honestly, this has dragged on longer than all the Star Wars movies, and cost a hell of a lot more money.

To my inexperienced House of Commons mind, it appeared that many of the MPs wanted to vote on the Brexit deal. Teresa May then decided to call the vote off. Probably because she knew all too well that she wouldn’t win.

That’s a great way to avoid defeat, Prime Minister. Leeds United are due to play Bolton at the weekend. If the players just don’t turn up and say that they don’t want to play, will they be awarded the win? If we’re following the PM’s rules, yes. Sorry, Bolton.

Another observation that I made is that Mrs May will do whatever she can to avoid answering a tough question. I know that everyone jokes about politicians doing this, but it really is true!

A Labour MP asked the PM what she would like to say to her constituents, who voted leave, based upon promises which will not be delivered. May didn’t answer. Instead, she reeled off some bollocks about how she has spoken to lots of people, who voted remain, that now want to leave. Now, I’m not calling our respectable Prime Minister a liar, but if she was related to Pinocchio, her nose would have grown so long that it would have stretched across Westminster Bridge.

Her response hasn’t even got anything to do with the issue posed to her in the first place! Again, using ‘Teresa Logic’ in another situation, imagine that you are on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. You’re one step away from the top prize, but have used all your lifelines. You are asked the question “The Koran is divided into 114 sections – what are these known as?”. You respond “The cow goes ‘mooo!'”. Congratulations – you’re a millionaire!

Finally, many of the MPs are bloody rude. Like I have already said, I haven’t watched a debate from the House of Commons before, so don’t know if this happens all the time (but suspect it does). One speaker stood up to make a point, to which a rude bastard in the background shouted out “get on with it!”.

Given how unpleasant they all are, I don’t understand why they call each other “the right honourable”. Why are they not just honest and address each other as “C*nty McC*ckhead”?

The other MPs are no better than the “get on with it” moron. Those not heckling each other, are mostly on their mobile phones! That is, of course, the politicians who had bothered to stay behind to finish the debate. By 6pm, most appeared to have buggered off! Presumably to get home in time to listen to the remainder of the debate on Radio 4, or more likely watch Married to the Eiffel Tower, on Channel 5 – and yes, that is a real documentary