Want to host the World Cup?
Don’t have the football stadia to compete with other countries?
Do your native football fans fight each other to the death?
Does your country have a history of government corruption?
Does your law enforcement like to beat civilians with sticks?
No problem!
Simply send Fifa officials a big wad of cash, keep it quiet (punishing anyone who doesn’t by putting plutonium in their PG Tips) and hey presto – you too can host a major football tournament in your own back yard – EVEN if you have a plastic pitch!
The same solution can also be used if your country is named after a type of phlegm, has a climate far too hot to live in (let alone play sport) and is one most people have never heard of.
Well done Russia and Qatar, well done! Enjoy your new private jet, Blatter – you twat.
I hear Vatican City are set to host the 2026 World Cup – The Pope has promised Sepp a free gateway to heaven if the Holyland win the bid.
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