BREAKING NEWS:
I’ve just checked the contents of my wallet and desk drawers, and have a grand sum of £16.97. I will now contact the administrators up at Elland Road and make a late bid to buy Leeds United Football Club.
I know £16.97 doesn’t sound a massive amount of money for a football club of Leeds United’s size, but believe my offer to be a lot more generous than the one put forward by Ken Bates.
If all goes to plan, I will be the new owner come the close of business today. Keep checking Sky Sports News and BBC FiveLive for my progress.
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