Another Leeds legend sadly leaves us.

Jack Charlton
Rest in Peace
1935 – 2020

773 appearances
23 years
1 club

For any Leeds United fan, the highlights from yesterday’s 5-0 win over Stoke are so euphoric, they should probably be illegal.

• ALSO AVAILABLE ON ALL MAJOR PORN SITES •

Thank fuck for that.

Just four games left. 12 points left to play for. Seven will do.

Shitting it is an understatement.

Leeds United’s challenge to finish the football season 1st or 2nd in the Championship and winning promotion to the Premier League is becoming more stressful by the day.

With the battle for the Top 2 places realistically being contested between three teams – Leeds, Brentford and West Brom – it is going to be a horrible couple of weeks until the final day on 22nd July… unless Leeds are out of the running before then!

The situation reminds me of the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, where Indy is trying to climb the a cliff face using a fallen rope bridge.

At the top of the cliff is salvation and safety. However, one false move and it’s death by crocodiles.

Trying to prevent Harrison Ford’s character from reaching the summit, as well as saving themselves, are a number of baddies.

The target Dr. Jones and the bad people are literally fighting to reach, represents automatic promotion from the Championship.

Being eaten alive by reptiles obviously means that you’re the team that finished 3rd and must compete in the Play Offs. If that just so happened to be Leeds, they may as well feed themselves to crocs, considering their awful record in every P*** Off they’ve ever been involved in!

From my personal point of view, Leeds are played by Indiana Jones, with Brentford and West Brom being the baddies. If anyone doesn’t like that, I won’t be their friend anymore and I’ll tell the teacher on them. My game. My rules.

As for the final outcome, you won’t have had to of seen the movie to know that Indy wins and rides off into the sunset with the girl. Although considering how much that woman screamed and bitched her way throughout the entire film, he may have been better taking his chances with a hungry croc.

You’ll see below that I have uploaded the scene, which has formed the basis of this post. Probably best to watch it now, in case anyone in the Copyright Police takes it down, after getting their knickers in a twist over a three and a half minute clip from a movie filmed 36 years ago.

Anyway… to keep things fair and impartial – well, to prevent me from jinxing Leeds – I have cut the clip right before the bit where you see whether or not our hero lives. Therefore leaving the real outcome up to the football gods.