I had a disgusting tea tonight – Chicken Peri Peri from Asda. It was so foul, the meat (or what I thought was meat) was all thrown away.

Before tipping the remains into the bin, I noticed the packaging promising a full refund if I was not 100% satisfied and did not “love” my product.

I decided to e-mail Asda. I was relatively polite about the whole matter, but refrained from comparing the marinated chicken to dog food – mainly as dog food would probably taste better.

After sending the e-mail, I enjoyed a much nicer dessert – Asda coffee ice cream – lush. The same offer of a refund was on that packet too. It got me thinking…

I LOVE my girlfriend
I LOVE my family
I REALLY LIKED the Asda coffee ice cream

But they’re offering a full refund if I don’t LOVE it. This deal sounds too good to be true. I could, effectively, eat lovely food, for free, for life; all courtesy of Asda.

Following being tuned down for a mobile phone contract earlier in the week, I contacted Experian to do some investigating. I have now seen my credit report, and as suspected, I am perfect – always paid my bills on time, not a debt to my name.

Surprisingly, there is nothing to suggest that my previous address has anything to do with the reason I was refused a contract. I was misinformed and wrong.

The reason I was turned down appears to be the fault of good old Bath and North East Somerset council. BANES have put my address down on the electoral roll incorrectly. Where my actual post code is BA1 ##B, it is listed as BA1 ##G. Therefore, when I give anybody my actual post code, they think I am committing fraud by giving a fake address.

BANES have apparently updated their system, but the change won’t ‘kick in’ until mid-December! I am not impressed. I don’t pay my excessive council tax for some office junior to type my personal details into a national database incorrectly and right-royally screw me over.

Found this on the Orange website. Spot the obvious error.

Anybody remember all the hassle I had with TalkTalk last year? Well they called me up the other day, begging me to come back to them. Their selling tactics and excuses for their poor service were laughable. Here is just some of the rubbish they spouted to me before I hung up.

I still have nightmares about this company

When I informed them I had waited in excess of 3 months for my broadband, and still had no connection when I left, I was told
“Many TalkTalk customers have waited in excess of 4 months, and were even charged for the time they had no service”
Gee; I guess I was one of the lucky ones. Am I supposed to feel grateful?

Their reasoning on why their service is better than BT
“1 in 6 UK households is a TalkTalk customer – we must be doing something right”
1 in 6 households are customers. How many actually have a service?

They then went on to ask if I made international calls (which I don’t) and how much I spend on telephone calls each month (£0.00 – all calls are made via my mobile). When told they could knock I few pounds off my line rental, I replied “I wouldn’t have TalkTalk if it was free”, before ending the call.

I urge you anyone; don’t be convinced by this company. They screwed me over big time (luckily I escaped), and I haven’t been the only one bitten. You have been warned.