Tried to signup for MySpace this evening, not to create one of those shite websites but to send a message to a friend I know on there. They won’t let me register, haven’t a clue why.
Maybe it’s because I am not a typical MySpace user…
a) a teenager surfer dude
b) a teenage goth
c) a teenage student
To get on there maybe I need to convince them that I am going to feature pictures of Justin Timberlake and Tom Cruise and…blast! Who the devil do teenagers like these days? Morgan Freeman.
Anyway, fuck em, I don’t want to join their stupid club anyway.
My neighbours are so cruel! There I was sitting comfortably in my flat minding my own business when I smelt something gorgeous wafting through an open window. It was the smell of a barbecue, the first time I had smelt this lovely armour this year.
Time was getting on and I was hungry, this made it all the more difficult to refrain myself from jumping the fences into their garden and hijacking the party, running off with a string of sausages and a fistful of burgers.
I had to pull myself together, so after 5 minutes of drooling out the window I decided I would have takeaway pizza for dinner. I ordered my favourite “Spice Turtle WITHOUT artichokes”. This was more than sufficient.
Gone in 60 Seconds
Cadbury’s Crème Eggs, they’re great aren’t they! The tastiest chocolate money can buy and what’s more is that they’re better than normal eggs – they don’t come out of a chicken’s bottom and can be eaten raw without contracting salmonella.
There are however two problems I find with these tasty treats…
Firstly they are only available for sale at this time of year. It is a dream of many to be able to eat a Crème Egg on Christmas Day. Alas this is just a dream. Nobody knows what would happen if you were to eat a Crème Egg on 25th December. There are fears that it could affect the Space-Time Continuum or even cause the Universe to implode. Cadburys are indeed wise to keep the eggs restricted.
Secondly, these eggs are so small. Anybody who has ever had a Cadbury’s Crème Egg Easter Egg will have looked at the great big hollow egg and wished it was full of that white and yellow crème you get in the regulars. Alas, it’s not to be. I did come across this website where someone tried to “live the dream” of creating a full sized Crème Egg but it just didn’t look the same. In fact it looks like taramasalata smeared into a coconut shell. Yuck!
This morning I received some terrible news. The holiday is off. Dan In The Mix has dropped out therefore totally buggering up the plans for myself and the rest of the group.
At first I was angry. I wished Dan would fall into a Scottish marina which contained a dead swan. Then the anger turned to rage and I spent hours pacing up and down the flat muttering under my breath and twitching like a mad man. My pacing wore away the carpet as well as my shoes and my feet started to blister and bleed.
I then thought it would be best to check myself into the local mental asylum. Upon arrival I told the nurse the problem and that I needed to be committed. She agreed and asked if I wanted to go calmly or kicking and screaming. Naturally I chose the latter.
I am now home, back in the flat. They gave me some pills to take. They have calmed me down. I am now sitting down on cushions, eating candy floss and listening to Enya. It has been a very busy morning.
This week I have been looking into booking a summer holiday for myself and a group of friends. I already have a fortnight booked off work and was hoping to fit a weeks holiday into that break. We’re thinking of either Cornwall or Devon, it may not exotic but I hear Torquay has a palm tree and if “experts” are to be believed due to global warming we can expect temperatures of a Mediterranean climate.
Now it is just a case of finding out who wants to go, which places are available and which foolish property owner wants to let out his beloved, southern cottage to a party of four twenty-something lads.
Weather permitting it’ll be a nice break, I have been to both Devon and Cornwall many a time when I was a child and they are two beautiful counties. The alternative to this holiday is a week on a canal boat in Cheshire. I went on a similar boating holiday last year and it was more than enjoyable, I would just like a change this year though. Besides which I don’t fancy trundling along through the heart of Manchester down a canal which the locals use as a rubbish dump. Believe me, if the Mancs treat their waterways anything like the Brummies that’ll be exactly what it’s like.
We plan to go on 24th June until 1st July and as none of us can drive will be dependant upon the good old railway network to take us down south. This leaves one possible problem. The holiday I have planned falls right, slap bang in the middle of The World Cup.
One of the 2nd round games (which England could easily be involved in) is on Saturday 24th June with a quarter final (again which could feature England) on Saturday 1st July both at 4pm. Now either we’re going to have to get an early train or in the event of unavailability or train delay rely upon good old Alan Green on BBC Five Live. You never know, England may be knocked out of the competition before it comes to that.
Finally the plan is, like last year to bring my laptop with me so I can blog. I won’t have the luxuries of Orange 3G but have setup GPRS access though my Nokia 6230 via Bluetooth. I’ll register with Orange for the costly, unlimited usage package, update my blog and then rape them of bandwidth to get my moneys worth. Fight the power.
Phew! That was a long blog, you still with me? I’m off to watch an episode of Family Guy and then get some sleep.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
