Phew! I just about got this blog finished on time. I didn’t want the clock to hit midnight as it would mean creating a brand new page for September 2006. How’s that for speed? I can write and upload my blog before midnight of 31st August, but Ashley Cole is still to piss off to Chelsea! Anyway, the main feature presentation…

Yesterday I went to the cinema to watch Severance. This was Mr. Watkins’ choice of film and a choice I would like to congratulate him upon. Well done Johnny! You have surpassed yourself. This film was much better than some of your previous choices which included Boogeyman, The Jacket and Christmas with the Kranks… although I think that last one may have been mine.

Severance is one of those British films which stars a handful of British, Z-List celebrities you know that you have seen before, but can’t remember where. Maybe it was in a Guy Richie movie, possibly a BBC sitcom or even a television advertisement. Only IMDB.com holds the answer. I did wonder if the guy who played Steve (Danny Dyer) was a Brainiac. Sadly he wasn’t.

The film, like Shaun of the Dead, mixes horror with comedy, although it is a lot scarier than SOTD. A lot scarier! One scene involving a huge spider crawling up a dressing gown made me feel unwell. I could stomach the scene involving a foot being torn off by a bear trap. A woman being burnt alive – no problem. Hunters knife up the bottom – I didn’t flinch, but a spider on the back is the stuff of nightmares.

After the cinema I went to Nandos. It was late and because of this I was not hungry (my digestive system only functions 0700-2100 local time). For the first time ever, I left most of my Nandos, a terrible crime – burn me. After Mr. Watkins had finished his dish, he frowned at my poor attempt to consume a plate of chicken, chips and rice. I felt shame.

The only blessing of the trip to Nandos last night was that we got the meals 2-4-1 in conjunction with a special offer. The waitress serving us was also extremely attractive. I was convinced that somebody that cute could not have been cooking the chicken that evening as if she had I would have found a way to eat it, even if I had been suffering from some terrible projectile vomiting disease.

On that pleasant note I will say goodnight. “Goodnight!”