I’ve just got back from watching Jimmy Carr live in Bath. I must say, it was an excellent gig. He was absolutely hilarious, so funny he made the David Mitchell and Robert Webb show I saw last year seem like a funeral.

The show took place in The Pavillion, a run down building next to the Sports Centre. It reminded me of my old school hall where I used to attend assemblies. Close to a thousand people were crammed into the hall, huddled together like cows – it got very hot and uncomfortable. Jimmy Carr compared the location to a church sale.

His material and jokes were very funny, and not one was a reuse of his previous work. The interaction with the audience was superb. Drunken West Country chavs would shout awkward questions and obscenities in his direction, to which he would respond in the manner they deserved – mainly making fun of their inaudible accents and referring to having performed sexual acts with their mothers.

Some of his better jokes which I can remember!

Another term for a racist…
Somebody who is afraid of the dark

What’s the difference between rape and football?
Women don’t like football

People think dolphins are intelligent. They just look intelligent when swimming with the retarded children.

What’s a Unitard?
Apparently not this. According to Jimmy Carr, it’s a retarded child with a horn.

“I turned on the radio and heard that 10 people had been killed by a suicide bomber… then I found out it was in Basra – who cares?”

A kiss passes on lots of bacteria. A French kiss passes on bacteria, garlic and dog shit.

When people drive their cars in fog, why are there signs on the motorway warning people of its presence? Is it because they may be worried that they in fact have cataracts? Also, when driving in foggy conditions, why do people drive with their head closer to the windshield? The fog’s not in the car!

God does not condemn homosexuality. If he did, he would have created a plague for gays… This was followed by a series of Aids jokes.

All in all an excellent evening, highly recommended. If you get a chance to catch him on his current tour, it’s a must see show!

Thank you Jimmy, I haven’t laughed that much in ages. Also, thanks for not picking on me.