I awoke to another strange noise last night. I am pleased to report that it wasn’t by neighbours fucking again (or bouncing or trampolines).
At 3am, in a dazed and confused state, my initial thoughts were that a drunkard had somehow found his way over the garden fence and was lying, suffering in a bed of nettles.
As I had received no missed calls on my mobile from White, Spratt or any other known drinkers, I listened again. Now more awake, I realised the noise was, in fact, an owl (whether it was drunk or not, I don’t know).
I spent some time looking for my new feathered friend, but alas I couldn’t spot him, although he did carry on hooting for quite some time. If he wants to come back tonight and wake me up with his night call, he’s more than welcome – I may even buy some hamsters and gerbils from the pet shop for him to eat.
As promised, here are some clips from Bath City. I was trigger happy with the camera and managed to capture some good moments.
Firstly, Darren Edward’s opener for City
And my favourite – the opposition keeper taking the worst goal kick ever. Look at the bemused players, who don’t know where the fuck the ball has gone. Also listen out for the City fan in the background “Absolutely hilarious!”
Last night, Mr. White threw one of his infamous house parties. Within minutes of my arrival, he was blasting out music into his back garden, at a greater volume than a Norman Cook beach party.
It wasn’t long before an elderly neighbour, scurried to the end of her garden, collecting parasols, tables, chairs and items of value, and locking them in a summer house, before boarding up the windows and doors. She knew all too well about the hell which was about to unveil over the course of the night.
The evening was surprisingly rather refrained. Nobody drank to the extent of having their stomach pumped, there was no rape, and Mr. White did not have to fight the mad neighbour who lives at the foot of his garden.
Most of the drinkers were sharing what looked like a gallon of vodka, and an even larger bottle of cider. I stuck to my Bath Gem and Carlsberg, while Simon drank a whole bottle of wine (and yes, like last time, he did spill it). Watkins remained the only T-Total member of the party, yet still managed to make the most amounts of noise and eccentric behaviour, as the photos below suggest.
Mr. White hits a new low – drinking fucking diesel
“It’s for medicinal purpose!”
Kay places her burger on Mr. Watkins’s baps
And yes, that is a table lamp you can see outside!
Insert your own caption here
I feel this picture represents the havoc brought upon White’s usually quite home, when his parents take a holiday.
Mr. White stole my camera and took this subdued picture.
“This crack is so moorish”
Barbecued cheese – mmmmm…
“Time to leave, Mr. Watkins!”
What a beautiful Saturday afternoon! The sun was out and the skies clear – the perfect weather for watching a thrilling game of football.
I joined a packed crowd at Bath City’s Twerton Park for the penultimate home game of the season, against Maidenhead United. Bath needed to win and hope that their closest rivals, Team Bath lost. City won 2-1, but unfortunately Team Bath also got 3 points. Looks like I’ll have to wait until Tuesday’s game, away to Mangotsfield in Bristol.
I got a few videos from the game, which I am currently uploading to YouTube using my ancient 56k internet connection (hopefully getting broadband next week). When these are available, I’ll post links on here. In the meantime, here are some pictures from the game (click on the small image for a high-res pic).
One of the biggest banners I’ve seen at Twerton
You would be forgiven for thinking Arsenal were playing
Same old Arsenal – always cheating.
In honour of the new series of Peep Show, and because I asked him to, Mr. Watkins cooked one of his infamous curries for Simon and me last night. Good work John, it was very nice – I hope you noticed that I ate all of mine and refrained from spilling any rice on the floor – unlike a few previous incidents.
After curry, we settled down and watched the highly anticipated first episode of Peep Show series 4. What a fantastic episode! I was a little worried the whole thing would be somewhat of an anti-climax or fail to live up to previous episodes, but I was not disappointed. Everything from Mark ripping a pheasants head off to Jeremy getting “nookie” from Mark’s soon-to-be mother in law (“I AM James Bond”) was simply superb. Well done lads, I can’t wait for next Friday’s episode.
After Peep Show, Simon and Watkins left, and I stayed up playing Fifa 07 on the PS2 before retreating to bed – late. As I lay in bed, trying to sleep, I became aware of a rather distressing noise, which disturbed both my sleep and mental well being. The sound was coming from the flat above mine and appeared to be a frequent, vigorous sound of springs in motion, as if somebody was jumping on a trampoline. I am not aware of any children or gymnasts in the building, so assumed, to my horror, that the resident in the flat above was having a sex session – probably an orgy. I quickly reached for the ear defenders and enjoyed a nice, quite sleep.
I really hope that I don’t hear the sexual experiences of Peter Stringfellow and his whores again tonight. With any luck, he will have broken the bed springs or better still, his back.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
