One of my fellow drinkers from local pub had one too many pints of Bulmers this evening. When leaving the pub for a cigarette, my friends and I thought it would be very funny to call the drunkard a taxi, even though he only had one pound and seven pence in his pocket. In our defence, he was incapacitated and needed a ride home!
As time went on, we thought he was going to disappear, and the evil plan would be foiled. However, as he staggered out the pub door into the night, a barman shouted into his face “Taxi for Byron!” The poor, confused soul put his hand into the air and said “I’m Byron”.
He hasn’t been seen since. I don’t know if he made it home, and if he did; how his taxi fare was paid.
Keep off the alcohol, kids.
Call of Duty 4 dropped through my letterbox today. I have been meaning to buy it for sometime and when I noticed the special edition in the Play.com sale, I couldn’t resist.
My initial impression of COD4 was simply “wow”. I didn’t actually want to play the game at first, instead simply sit back in awe of the amazing design and lush graphics. I was impressed with the predecessor, COD2, a couple of years ago; but I wasn’t expecting such an improvement.
When I was a young child, I was given a Sega Master System for Christmas. Bundled with the console was the war-based shoot-em-up Operation Wolf. My parents didn’t like me playing it, and always insisted I play Alex the Kidd (I had a sheltered upbringing). The few times I did have the pleasure of shooting the soldiers of Bosnia (where the real life war was being held at the time) I remember being amazed at the authenticity of the basic 8-bit console. Looking at COD4 today, it is incredible how technology has improved. It is surely only a matter of time before videogames are on a par, visually, with reality… Grand Theft Auto 5, anyone? :o)
The past
The present
The future?
I spent most of yesterday playing Guitar Hero III on the Xbox. By the evening, my fingers were aching from playing the strings (or fret buttons) too much.
Who would have thought that playing with what is effectively a plastic toy guitar in-front of an imaginary crowd could be so much fun? While playing the likes of Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones and The Killers’ When You Were Young, you actually believe, for a short space of time, that you are actually in the band, sending thousands of screaming fans mad, like a rock legend.
I am still a beginner, and am working my way through on the easiest difficulty setting. This setting is played at a slower pace and only uses 3 of the 5 fret keys. The crowd are also a lot more forgiving for the mistakes I seem to make while learning.
Later that night, I got torn away from my Gibson guitar, and taken to the pub for the evening. I only had a few pints, but being the rock legend that I am, I should have drank a bottle of vodka, taken cocaine in the toilet, before hiring and trashing a hotel room.
I will carry on updating my blog with updates about my rock career, although if things keep going as they are, you’ll probably read about my success in Kerrang magazine.
Well, that’s Christmas over with for another year.
I would be lying if I said I joined my family in a wonderful Christmas dinner, comprising of pheasant and luxury champagne; before singing carols around a piano. There was nothing wrong with this years celebrations – just nothing magical, either.
Present highlights:
Sony Ericsson K800i – my Nokia phone was as good as dead, so I begged Santa and his elves for this little baby.
Guitar Hero III – a cool little game for the Xbox 360, complete with a “lifelike” guitar. I haven’t had much chance to play it yet; but expect me to be appearing on Top of the Pops or (its modern day equivalent) sometime in 2008.
The Stig – a remote control car, featuring The Stig from BBC2’s Top Gear. Like with GHIII, I haven’t had much time to play with it; but expect a blog on how I broke it soon.
Christmas dinner:
Overrated as always. I hate having a large meal at lunchtime. The turkey was dry – I don’t think the chef reads my blog (luckily). I left most of my dinner, so when the evening came, I was very hungry – I worked my way through Pringles and chocolate.
Christmas telly:
Supposedly another Christmas tradition amongst us Brits. I didn’t watch anything. My sister had EastEnders on – what a horrible programme, especially for Christmas. In the space of ten minutes, I watched domestic abuse, a man vomiting in the street, a mother trying to commit suicide in front of her young daughter, before falling down the stairs to her death. Not exactly a nice, festive TV show is it – more like “TV to cut your wrists to”.
Football:
Another Crimbo tradition. I went to watch Bath City play Dorchester today. A rubbish game that finished 1-1. City need to buck their ideas up, or I might have to open a can of whoop ass on them. Leeds also drew 1-1. A sporting gesture, I must say. If Leeds wanted, they could win every game 5-0; but that would mean the season would be over in January – how kind they are!
Did anyone where have a bad time this Christmas? Did you receive a terrible knitted jumper from a senile relative? Maybe a young/elderly relative pissed/shat/vomited on you – maybe you did that on yourself? Did Santa not bring you what you wanted?
Whatever happened to you this Crimbo; I am willing to bet that it wasn’t as bad as getting mauled to death by a tiger.
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) – A tiger that mauled a zookeeper last year escaped from its pen at the San Francisco Zoo on Tuesday, killing one man and injuring two others before police shot it dead, authorities said.
The three men were in their 20s; they were together and were not zoo employees, San Francisco Police spokesman Steve Mannina said. They were attacked just after the 5 p.m. closing time, on the east end of the 125-acre grounds.
They suffered “pretty aggressive bite marks,” Mannina said.
It was unclear how the tiger escaped or how long it was on the loose. The approximately 300-pound female Siberian tiger, named Tatiana, attacked a zookeeper last December during a public feeding, according to the zoo’s director of animal care and conservation.
Robert Jenkins, the zoo’s director of animal care and conservation, could not explain how the animal escaped. The tiger’s enclosure is surrounded by a 15-foot-wide moat, and 20-foot-high walls.
“There was no way out through the door,” said Jenkins. “The animal appears to have climbed or otherwise leapt out of the enclosure.”
The zoo, which is open 365 days a year, was evacuated immediately after the attack was reported.
The two injured men were in critical but stable condition at San Francisco General Hospital, Fire Department spokesman Lt. Ken Smith said. A call to the supervising nurse at San Francisco General was not immediately returned.
“This is a tragic event for San Francisco,” Smith said. “We pride ourselves in our zoo, and we pride ourselves in tourists coming and looking at our city.”
Authorities did not believe there were any other people attacked, but because it was dark they could not be certain. Investigators remained on the scene using ladders and flashlights. Smith said a thorough sweep of the grounds would be conducted in the morning.
Investigators working to understand what happened have sketched a chilling picture.
The first attack happened right outside the Siberian’s enclosure – the victim died on the scene. A group of four responding officers came across his body when they made their way into the dark zoo grounds, said Mannina.
Then they saw the second victim. He was about 300 yards away, in front of the Terrace Cafe.
The man was sitting on the ground, blood running from gashes in his head. Tatiana sat next to him. Suddenly, the cat attacked the man again, Mannina said.
The officers started approaching the animal, bearing their handguns. Tatiana started moving in their direction. Several of the officers then fired, killing the animal.
Only then did they see the third victim, who had also been mauled.
Although no new visitors were let in after 5 p.m., the grounds were not scheduled to close until an hour later, and there were between 20 and 25 people still on site when the attacks happened, zoo officials said.
There are five tigers at the zoo – three Sumatrans, and two Siberians. Officials initially worried that four tigers had escaped, but they soon learned that only one had left its pen, according to Mannina.
Last December, the animal reached through the cage’s iron bars and badly lacerated a zookeeper’s arm. The zoo’s Lion House was temporarily closed during an investigation.
California’s Division of Occupation Safety and Health blamed the zoo for the assault and imposed a $18,000 penalty, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom said in a statement that he was deeply saddened by the latest incident and said a thorough investigation is under way.
Following last year’s attack, the zoo added customized steel mesh over the bars, built in a feeding shoot and increased the distance between the public and the cats.
Tatiana arrived at the San Francisco Zoo from the Denver Zoo a few years ago, with zoo officials hoping she would mate with a male tiger.
The zoo will be closed on Wednesday.
[Source – http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,,-7178796,00.html]
I guess the tiger really didn’t like turkey. More to the point; who visits a zoo on Christmas Day, anyway?
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
