Some e-mail funnies I was sent recently (click on the thumbnail to get the full thing).
I need to post my disgust at Manchester City Football Club. This afternoon they played their superior rivals, Manchester United in a very special game – one to mark the 50th anniversary of the 1958 Munich air disaster.
Obviously Man City manager, Sven and his players didn’t read the script delivered by the Old Trafford paperboy, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer; which stated
“THIS GAME IS IN MEMORY OF THE BUSBY BOYS. YOU MUST BOW TO MANCHESTER UNITED AND LET THEM WIN MY A MARGIN OF AT LEAST 5-0”.
Manchester City disrespected these rules altogether and went to Old Trafford and did the unthinkable – scored 2 goals and stole 3 points. For shame.
It isn’t just Man City who are to blame; the referee has a lot to answer for; he didn’t even give the home side a penalty! In his defence, I think the sponsor-less Man Utd shirts must have confused him.
Still, this treachery from Man City cannot be forgiven and I predict a harsh and deserved punishment from the FA. Manchester City must be relegated from the Premiership and start then 2008/9 season in the Unibond league. This is the only way to prevent future Man Utd celebrations from being marred in this way again.
This evening I went to see National Treasure: Book of Secrets at the cinema. I haven’t been to the cinema in a while and was surprised at the new “price structure” – £7.00. That’s bloody extortionate! No wonder people pirate films!
Anyway, the film was good – kind of a mixture of Indiana Jones, Oceans Eleven and James Bond. Some interesting facts I found out having watched it…
- Anyone can meet the President of the United States simply by sneaking into his party in a dinner jacket
- Likewise, you can get access to the Queen’s private quarters by hiding in a “dumbwaiter” lift
- Everyone in England either speaks like Queen Liz or a character from a Guy Richie movie
- You may have enough gadgets to make James Bond jealous, but you still don’t have a camera phone
- The elderly make surprisingly good adventurers
- If you and your wife are having relationship problems, forget marriage counselling; simply go on a long and dangerous adventure – a guaranteed way to solve your marital problems.
Once a month, a man visits our office selling books, novelties, gadgets, etc… mostly all a load of crap.
This time, however, I found something of interest – a microwavable lavender bottle. It is basically a soft bag filled with smelly things, which you stick inside the microwave and heat up.
Yes, is very girly, but I like it, and after a few colleagues put their name down to buy one, I plucked up the courage to order one too (I didn’t want to be the ONLY one buying it!). I am now thinking of being ironic and snuggling down with my “hottie bottie” and watching a masculine film like Die Hard, while drinking 10 pints of Stella.
Last night I visited Wembley Stadium to watch my first ever live England game – a friendly against Switzerland. Having watched lots of league football with Leeds United and even more non-league with Bath City, I was keen to see what all the fuss was about and watch how football really should be played (according to the press).
The coach left Bath just before 2pm and was late arriving into Wembley due to getting caught in rush hour traffic. We were able to park right by the ground, which was very convenient – no messing around in tube or bus stations.
The stadium look very impressive, especially illuminated in the night sky. The shear size of it is also surprising. After climbing many, many flights of stairs, we found our seats very easily (so far, so good).
We then went in hunt off food. The menu was limited to burger and chips, fish and chips or chicken and (you’ve guessed it) chips. Whatever you ordered, you weren’t left with much change from a tenner. The queues to buy food were very long, the service was slow, and the availability of cutlery, tomato ketchup, straws, etc was very poor.
I used the toilets once, pre-kick off. Watching non-league football most weeks, I have seen some disgusting toilets which would even be frowned upon on the continent. Wembley’s were very nice though, and the hand dryers were cool – so powerful they nearly blew my arms off.
The match was preceded by a minutes silence in memory of the Munich air disaster 50th anniversary. The silence was cut short after 20 seconds due to a very small number of fans disturbing it.
Watching England live is very different to watching them on TV; mainly as you haven’t got the senile John Motson spouting sewage for 90 minutes.
England were reported by the media to have played poorly, and I would have to agree. Jermaine Jenus appeared to have a good game and Wayne Rooney tried hard. Ashley Cole was absolutely shocking and was booed after being substituted. Still, it doesn’t matter if you’re a crap footballer, as long you have a beautiful wife… oops, sorry Cashley!
The overall atmosphere was rather sterile. When the England fans did make noise, it was either boos out of frustration, unimaginative chants or attempts to wind up the travelling Swiss.
The journey home seemed to take forever. The motorway coming out of Wembley was heavily congested, mainly due to maintenance work being carried out. If this was planned work, the man who decided to carry it out on the same night as an England game needs shooting. At 2am the coach arrived back in Bath. It had been a long, long day
I am an England fan. I wish them well. I will probably go to watch England again, but give me club football over international any day of the week.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
