Yesterday didn’t go exactly to plan.

We were intending on travelling down to Taunton to visit the Sheppy’s cider farm for Simon’s birthday.

However, upon joining the M5, we hit possibly the largest traffic jam I have ever had the displeasure to be stuck in.

It was hell – stranded in the middle of Somerset without food, water or a mobile phone signal. The car didn’t even have an AM radio, so we were unable to listen to the FA Cup Final. The only entertainment was watching fellow travellers wandering aimlessly along the lifeless motorway, climbing the embankment into fields and even walking their dogs. It was a very surreal experience.

We finally reached the turn off to Taunton, almost 3 hours later. With further traffic trailing all the way into the town and the farm soon to close, we had to cut our losses and drive home via Yeovil. A very disappointing day out.

Starving and thirsty, we stopped off at a lovely village pub just outside Shepton Mallet. There I enjoyed a lovely chicken pie and a pint of Thatchers in the early evening sun. The landlady saw fit to ID me for the alcohol. Luckily, I was carrying some – had I not, the day would have been made even worse. I don’t really think that was necessary anyway – if The Inbetweeners has taught me nothing else, it is that you can purchase a beer or a cider with a meal, even if under-aged.

We then drove back to Bath where we met Simon’s friend, Tim. It was decided we would end what was overall a very frustrating day, by the canal at The George Pub in Bathampton. A very nice evening, which almost made me forget about the disappointment of earlier.

Things got a little silly at the end of the night when someone decided to remove letters from the specials blackboard to form naughty words. We contemplated modifying ‘Cucumber’ , leading to funny results, especially as it preceded the word ‘Shavings’, but decided against it (the chalk was hard to remove). We were all disappointed by the fact the pub didn’t sell ‘Scunthorpe Pie’

Most of us left the pub relatively sober. Tim, however, had been drinking some very expensive whiskey, which resulted in alcoholic fumes filling the car on the drive home. Anyone who entered the car not drunk, left the vehicle a little closer to an intoxicated state.