Regular listeners to Danny Baker’s radio show on BBC Radio FiveLive, will know those five words should never be issued at a football match, regardless of how well one’s team is performing.
Before tonight, the last time I shouted out the infamous catchphrase, albeit tongue-in-cheek, was during the previous season. Bath City were playing an evening game at Twerton Park against Bishop’s Stortford. It was well into the second half, with the scoreline 2-0 in Bath’s favour. Almost immediately after issuing the cursed cry, ‘Bish’ scored a goal – followed by a further two, winning the match 3-2. To this day, I hold myself responsible for the defeat.
In recent months, I have been tempted to repeat the moto. 5-1 up away from home (again, against Bishop’s Stortford) and even while beating Willand 5-0 in the FA Cup; yet I daren’t make the same mistake twice… until tonight.
This evening, we faced Woking at Twerton. Woking have been doing very well of late and following our own recent exits from both the FA Trophy and Cup, I was less than optimistic of a victory. However, this all changed 10 minutes into the game, when City found themselves 2-0 up.
Halftime and Bath were winning 3-0 and continued their dominance. I then, without a moments thought for the wellbeing of Bath City F.C., issued the words “nothing can go wrong now” – I even texted them to a fellow fan.
This blatant act of stupidly and disregard for an entire football club was mindless on my part. However, maybe the tides on this terrible curse have turned. Maybe there is no such thing as the ‘”Nothing can go wrong now” jinx’. Maybe the Gods mistook me for a Woking supporter. Whatever happened, the game changed – even more in City’s favour…
Woking’s goalkeeper, who will surely be tested by The FA for crack, LSD and WKD come fulltime, made the absolutely hilarious error of kicking the ball directly into one of Bath’s strikers. The forward didn’t even need to move, as he watched the ball hilariously trickle into the open net, giving City an unassailable 4-0 lead. Bath went on to get a 5th, minutes later, putting the game, and the curse, to bed.
I am now making it my one mission in life to inform everyone that it is now OK to use the previously forbidden five words. Football fans everywhere can now throw away their Rosary Beads. The prayer mats can all be left at home. Whenever a manager or coach needs a result from his team, leave the ‘super sub’ on the bench. All everybody needs to do is shout at the top of their voices “Nothing can go wrong now!”
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