If you are heating up bowls in the microwave, don’t leave them in too long…
They explode.
The weekend’s revelry began on Friday, where we had the work Christmas meal. We went to Loch Fyne in town. With this being a fish restaurant and me being against eating anything with gills, I was a little pessimistic about the choice of venue. However, I was most impressed with the meal, which was far better than The Weston last year and the tapas bar we visited in ’07.
I started with tomato soup, which was really nice – if only I had asked the waiter whether it was Heinz or Bachelors. This was followed up with rump steak. Considering it was made by a chef who specialises in scales and fins, he managed to cook cow’s arse very well. This was all rounded off with an some apple pie thing. I like pie so I liked this.
Saturday was football. Both my teams, Leeds United and Bath City, faced some of their biggest league rivals, Huddersfield Town and Newport County respectively. Leeds, lead by Saint Simon Grayson, are used to winning all their games, but ‘uddersfield (as it is pronounced by their fans) are doing well themselves and would see Leeds as their ‘cup final’. Therefore, I was pleased with the 2-2 draw, preserving Leeds’ unbeaten home record.
Bath City faced their rivals from Wales. Despite losing to them in October, City are used to beating the Welsh, who have a long history of underachieving. This season, however, our friends from over the bridge are ‘doing a Leeds’ and running away with the league. Therefore, I was satisfied with the 1-1 result. I think this is the first weekend all season neither of my sides have won, but at least I didn’t have to experience the bitter taste of defeat.
Sunday was spent indoors, in the warmth of my flat. My Christmas shopping was completed, thanks to various online outlets. I also added some more Crimbo decorations to my already festive-looking home.
Yesterday it was announced Braintree FC have refused to play the Bath City match on a Saturday and will instead host The Romans during the middle of next week.
This has obviously caused upset and anger among the City fans that were hopeful of making the trip. Normally in this case, I would write a massive rant on my blog about it. Instead, I’ll let Hitler rage for me…
Regular listeners to Danny Baker’s radio show on BBC Radio FiveLive, will know those five words should never be issued at a football match, regardless of how well one’s team is performing.
Before tonight, the last time I shouted out the infamous catchphrase, albeit tongue-in-cheek, was during the previous season. Bath City were playing an evening game at Twerton Park against Bishop’s Stortford. It was well into the second half, with the scoreline 2-0 in Bath’s favour. Almost immediately after issuing the cursed cry, ‘Bish’ scored a goal – followed by a further two, winning the match 3-2. To this day, I hold myself responsible for the defeat.
In recent months, I have been tempted to repeat the moto. 5-1 up away from home (again, against Bishop’s Stortford) and even while beating Willand 5-0 in the FA Cup; yet I daren’t make the same mistake twice… until tonight.
This evening, we faced Woking at Twerton. Woking have been doing very well of late and following our own recent exits from both the FA Trophy and Cup, I was less than optimistic of a victory. However, this all changed 10 minutes into the game, when City found themselves 2-0 up.
Halftime and Bath were winning 3-0 and continued their dominance. I then, without a moments thought for the wellbeing of Bath City F.C., issued the words “nothing can go wrong now” – I even texted them to a fellow fan.
This blatant act of stupidly and disregard for an entire football club was mindless on my part. However, maybe the tides on this terrible curse have turned. Maybe there is no such thing as the ‘”Nothing can go wrong now” jinx’. Maybe the Gods mistook me for a Woking supporter. Whatever happened, the game changed – even more in City’s favour…
Woking’s goalkeeper, who will surely be tested by The FA for crack, LSD and WKD come fulltime, made the absolutely hilarious error of kicking the ball directly into one of Bath’s strikers. The forward didn’t even need to move, as he watched the ball hilariously trickle into the open net, giving City an unassailable 4-0 lead. Bath went on to get a 5th, minutes later, putting the game, and the curse, to bed.
I am now making it my one mission in life to inform everyone that it is now OK to use the previously forbidden five words. Football fans everywhere can now throw away their Rosary Beads. The prayer mats can all be left at home. Whenever a manager or coach needs a result from his team, leave the ‘super sub’ on the bench. All everybody needs to do is shout at the top of their voices “Nothing can go wrong now!”
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
