The results for the Race to reply compo set earlier in the month are in…
To announce the standings, I give you David O’Leary…
In third place is the landlord. He took the longest to reply to the original email. In the end, it was promised he would visit the flat to fix the broken tap today. I’ll let you guess whether he came or not…
In second spot is EDF Energy. They took over a week to reply; clearly they don’t care whose gas meter the readings are provided for, as long as they get their sweet, sweet money.
In first place, the champion, BANES. The promise of hundreds of pounds in the form of council tax money, obviously spurred them on to reply in under a week.
England golden boy Wayne Rooney’s World Cup hopes hang in the balance after the striker limped off in Manchester United’s 2-1 defeat to Bayern Munich in the Champions League.
Cue mass media frenzy about Rooney’s foot/ankle/toe; with nothing else apparently mattering, whether it be a terrorist attack, Brown/Cameron/Harry Hill winning the election, or the entire population of Poland moving to the UK… OK, maybe The Daily Mail will pick up on that last one.
If Rooney’s brittle bones do heal in time, I would advise Alex Ferguson to wrap him in many layers of cotton wool, Charmin toilet roll and skins of murdered Andrex puppies. Better still, dress him in a Knitted Character costume.
With Rooney fit, England’s chances of winning the World Cup might be slightly less slim than if he was crocked.
1:1 – In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
1:2 – And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
1:3 – And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
1:4 – And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
1:5 – And Sean had his tea
(The power cut has finished)
The whole street is without power. It has been down for half an hour now.
Worst still, I was cooking my tea at the time – it had not finished and is half frozen – a present for the binmen.
Not knowing when electricity will be restored, I have been forced to make a ‘meal’ comprising of banana, apple, crisps and custard.
I often find it difficult getting to sleep on a Sunday night, following the weekend. This has been even more hard by the clocks going forward!
Need sleep soon 🙁