It has been less than two months since the debacle that was England’s World Cup campaign. I am still very bitter about the whole thing and have taken all the players off my Christmas card list, as well as deleting every single one of them from my friends on Facebook. I hear John Terry was most upset by this, although Ashley Cole apparently liked it.
As I am so disheartened by my national team, why then, did I spend Tuesday night watching players representing England at football? No, I didn’t go to boo and chuck rotten vegetables at the players – decaying cucumbers hold more value than Wayne Rooney, so it would be a waste of good pig food.
My evening involved a trip to Ashton Gate to watch the England Under 21’s – not the team of failures that caused 10,000 suicides in June. The ‘England Babbies’ may play for big name clubs, but unlike their senior counterparts, are yet to be poisoned by money, self-admiration and Wayne Bridge’s ex. The only contact the Under 21’s may have had with the former Mrs. Bridge, is if she was breast feeding them as infants.
The Rugrats took on the mighty force of Uzbekistan, who also put out their Kindergarten team. Uzbekistan is one of those countries I have never really heard of before and am not too sure actually exists. I originally thought it was made up by Borat, who being a proud resident of Kazakhstan, hates the whole Uzbekistan nation.
England ended up beating the kids from the country invented by Sacha Baron Cohen – the Uzbeks making the million mile trip back home, taking their ball with them.
The England senior team, now sponsored by Merseyside refuse collectors ‘Wirral Rubbish’, played the following day at Wembley. Needless to say, I was doing something far more enjoyable than watching the match – cleaning my eyeballs out with Cillit Bang, if I remember correctly.
I was deeply saddened today to learn of the death of Exeter City striker, Adam Stansfield.
Having been aware he had been suffering from illness in April, I was encouraged last month when I heard he had returned to pre-season training, therefore assuming his condition had improved. This made today’s news all the more shocking.
While I never saw him play live, I was aware of his work and watched him on television. Bath City were even linked with him some years ago.
When I managed Exeter City on the videogame Fifa, he was always a prolific goal scorer, as like in real life.
A tragic loss at such a young age. RIP
It is with great regret that I officially announce my retirement from international football.
I have chosen to follow Emilie Heskey, Paul Robinson and Wes Brown, in hanging up my England boots.
I am fully aware that neither Emilie, Paul, Wes or myself had any chance of actually playing for England again, even if we wanted to; but I would still all like it noted that if Fabio Capello did want me to play, I am unavailable.
The nation mourns.
You can tell the football season returned this weekend. I turned on BBC Radio FiveLive to hear the 606 football phone in. A Bristol City fan was on, with a West Country accent so broad, it would make Justin Lee Collins sound like Prince William.
The caller was bemoaning his teams 3-0 defeat to Millwall, putting all of the blame onto Bristol City’s new goalkeeper, David James. When the presenter asked the Bristolian if he had seen any of the goals conceded by James, he replied “No. I didn’t go to the game”
Excellent.
The polar ice caps may be shrinking, but the ice in my freezer is growing. So much so, I was unable to close the door this evening. I eventually managed to get it shut, after some frantic stabbing with a blunt kitchen knife.
It appears after almost two years of use, filling the freezer with hundreds of pizzas, pies and bags of chips, has caused it to over-freeze and be in need of a defrost.
Hopefully it’ll survive the next three weeks, giving me enough time to consume its contents and allow me to spend a day on my week off at the end of August thawing it out!
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
