Posted by sean on December 8, 2010 at 10:31 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


I fixed it. I turned the boiler off and back on again (just like a PC), and also tried to bleed the radiator (or rather threaten it) with a knife. I could be a plumber! Pity it only started working when I’m off to bed so can’t enjoy the warmth.

Posted by sean on December 8, 2010 at 10:04 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


Britain is in the middle of a winter freeze. It is cold everywhere. The radiators in my flat have decided to stop working. Love it.

Posted by sean on December 8, 2010 at 10:03 pm in Cricket with 1 Comment


I’ve just seen a charity appeal to rehome abused and beaten animals. Apparently they’re being offered to the Australian Cricket Team – they never beat anyone.

Posted by sean on December 5, 2010 at 5:07 pm in Fish, Fun At Home, Leeds United, Video Games, Weather with No Comments


Frosty the Snowman decided to piss ice and snow all over the country last week. Bath City were supposed to be playing Kettering on Saturday. Kettering does unfortunately not share the temperatures of Qatar, so as with most fixtures across England, the match was postponed due to the cold weather. Therefore, it was a Saturday spent indoors.

Amazon delivered Donkey Kong Country for the Wii, which I spent a lot of the afternoon playing. I bought the original DKC back in 1995 for the SNES. It was one of my favourite games as a child and a title I probably played more than was healthy for any human. I was therefore a little dubious about the re-release for the Wii and if Nintendo would do the classic title justice. I am pleased to say that they have. Like the original, it has beautiful graphics and is full of charm. It is also frightfully addictive – just like the 1995 release. While I love this game, it is maddening at times. Trying to make the stupid ape jump from platform to platform and avoid enemies is enough to drive even the most placid of people insane with rage. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t shouted any profanities at the TV during the last 24 hours.


I didn’t spend the whole Saturday playing video games. I had work to do as well – mainly cleaning out the fish tank. The confused fish which swims upside down is still alive and healthy… well, if you can call swimming the wrong way round ‘healthy’. Luckily, none of its friends have copied its strange behaviour. While cleaning fish shit out of the gravel and pump, I listened to Leeds United game over the internet. Despite having fish faeces on my hands, I was very happy. No, I’m not a fecalpheliac, I had simply heard Luciano Becchio score two late goals in as many minutes.

This is where I put the contents of the fish tank pump. For sale on eBay later today.

Later that evening John and Simon came round. We were going to play the SNES, but after eating our meal of pie and curly fries, we decided to play Bath Monopoly. A rather crafty plan on Simon and my part, as it allowed us to watch Match of the Day at the same time. I dominated the game, but was rather disappointed I wasn’t able to buy Twerton Park. John, the man who hates football more than anyone in the entire world, bought it and refused to sell it to me for anything less than £100,000. I was also saddened by the fact that despite owning Bath Rugby, I did not have the complete set, so could therefore not develop any properties. It is my dream to one day own The Rec and build a massive hotel on top of it!


The snow and ice has now gone. About 48 hours too late! It would have been nice if it was this warm on Saturday – I might have got to go to Kettering. Never mind, I had a fun time playing Donkey Kong, listening to Leeds and cleaning fish pooh.

Posted by sean on December 2, 2010 at 10:08 pm in Football with 1 Comment


Want to host the World Cup?
Don’t have the football stadia to compete with other countries?
Do your native football fans fight each other to the death?
Does your country have a history of government corruption?
Does your law enforcement like to beat civilians with sticks?
No problem!
Simply send Fifa officials a big wad of cash, keep it quiet (punishing anyone who doesn’t by putting plutonium in their PG Tips) and hey presto – you too can host a major football tournament in your own back yard – EVEN if you have a plastic pitch!

The same solution can also be used if your country is named after a type of phlegm, has a climate far too hot to live in (let alone play sport) and is one most people have never heard of.

Well done Russia and Qatar, well done! Enjoy your new private jet, Blatter – you twat.

I hear Vatican City are set to host the 2026 World Cup – The Pope has promised Sepp a free gateway to heaven if the Holyland win the bid.

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