I had a 3 day weekend. Saturday was a break from football. Instead I went up to Walsall to see Claire.

I experienced the joys of train journeys. It wasn’t too bad to be honest. During the trip up to the Midlands, I was sat on a carriage full of Bristol Rovers fans. While the Gas Heads drank Natch cider and raved about their chances of promotion, some child played a game on his dad’s iPad. I have no idea what the game was, although it was very loud and very annoying. I was tempted to pick it up and throw it out of the train window (the iPad, not the child). A scary looking notice on the train wall, warning of a £500 fixed penalty fare for anyone throwing anything out of the window was enough to put me off. That notice may have frightened me, but not as much as the one on the escalators – “You will be fined £200 if you stop the escalators for a non-emergency”. The big red button looked so tempting to press!

The trip back was surprisingly easier, despite being warned of the perils of Sunday travel by Simon. There was free WiFi on the train, so I just sat back and streamed the Man United/Man City game on my iPhone. The free internet was the only thing that was free. Even the toilets at Birmingham New Street cost money to get into. 30p! That’s right, thirty pence to have a piss – whatever happened to the phrase “spend a penny”. I would sooner wet myself. Judging by the state of the platform, it looked like a few people already had. Apparently there’s no fine for that.

Today was my day off work. After getting up late, I went into town. Big mistake. It was the half time holiday and every single child from Bath was there with their mothers. My God, they were annoying. They either seemed to be extremely posh and arrogant, or the other extreme and more chavvy than a scouse druggie with 20 kids on The Jeremy Kyle Show.

I was also annoyed during my visit to HMV. I really wanted to buy Jurassic Park on Blu Ray although was unable to find it for sale without the two sequels. Like the follow-ups to Jaws, I like to pretend The Lost World and Jurassic Park 3 don’t exist. If anyone knows where I can buy a copy of the original Jurassic Park movie on Blu Ray, without forking out for the shit spin-offs, please let me know.

After being terrorised by of minors, their parents and HMV sales assistants trying (and failing) to sell my crap dinosaur movies, I treated myself by visiting Krispy Kreme. Those who have visited the place will know how amazing it is. Those who have not haven’t lived. Krispy Kreme sell doughnuts. Not just ordinary doughnuts, the best doughnuts in the entire world. They make all other doughnuts taste like dog poo – they’re THAT good. I enjoyed a ‘Chocolate Sprinkles’ doughnut and a coffee (the hot drinks are also excellent). Another also found its way into my bag, which I ate when I got home.

It’s back to work tomorrow, so I suppose I had better get myself to bed. Hopefully I’ll dream about watching Jurassic Park in high definition while eating at Krispy Kreme; although I‘ll probably have a nightmare about watching The Lost World in a station toilet with football fans and being charged 30p for the privilege.