A major step forward in the house move was made today. The removal men transported all my stuff from my old flat to the new house. I was totally amazed at how fast they worked. All my possessions – my entire life – was loaded into a van before being driven a mile up the road and unpacked, in under an hour and a half. It was like watching David Attenborough documentary, where locusts strip an entire forest in hours, except in this case my whole flat was emptied and the work was done by men, not insects.
The rest of the day was spent on my own, undertaking the much longer task of cleaning my old flat, ahead of my imminent departure. There was lots and lots of dust, where furniture had stood for over 6 years. I was expecting to find hundreds of dead spiders in the spot of the TV cabinet. There was only one. The dozens I had terminated over the years must have turned to dust. Or been eaten by other spiders. Super spiders.
After filling the bowels of a vacuum cleaner, emptying an entire can of Cillit Bang into the shower and spraying far more Mr Sheen onto the surfaces than is healthy (hallucinations were caused), I can say my flat is clean. Well almost. I’ve still got to defrost the fridge and somehow clean the oven. I must have cooked thousands of pizzas over the course of my tenancy, and rather a lot of mess and stains have been left behind as a result. That’ll be my weekend job. As I said the other day, “I’m Never Moving Again”
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