I am delighted to report that I survived the storm they called St Jude. All weekend, television reports told how wind and rain on a Bibliotic scale, would destroy the UK. I was getting ready to build an arc and collect two of every animal, apart from spiders and wasps (they can all drown). After getting more and more nervous, Monday morning arrived. The storm didn’t. Had the apocalypse not been predicted, I wouldn’t really have thought much of the weather which met me ahead of my walk to work. OK, it was a little windy and it rained, but it’s often like that. A large part of a tree did block my path to work, but I think that was cut down on purpose by a Weatherman’s Union, embarrassed by their awful, inaccurate and totally over-the-top forecast.

I have been watching a documentary series on Channel 4 where a vet travels the world, hoping to prove the existence of Bigfoot or The Yeti. Last week, he travelled to a mountain range, where he met local nut-jobs, convinced that they had encountered a hairy, giant, man-like creature. DNA was taken from hair samples and tests were run. The tests showed that the sightings were, in fact, a bear. This week, the James Herriot wannabe visited America, where you’re always guaranteed to meet weirdos. We weren’t disappointed. Again, there was lots of people who claimed to have encountered Bigfoot, but no real evidence. One man claimed to have shot the creature dead, but lost the body (yes, seriously). Another tried to convince us all that by bashing on a tree, the mythological creature would respond by hitting another tree, miles away. Like the week before, hair samples were taken. Also like the week before, tests were run. Guess what they concluded. Bears. Next week the programme goes to Russia. Want to bet the outcome of episode?

Bigfoot may not exist. However, Man Bear Pig does. FACT.