Can anyone please tell me what the hell is going on at Leeds United right now? We’ve won once in what seems like the last thousand games, and even then we only just beat Millwall, who, without exaggeration, are probably the one team worse than Leeds in the entire world right now.

The players don’t seem to care. I tell a lie, Ross McCormack does. Ross McCormack. The saviour. If Leeds were without Ross, they would be preparing to play Sheepsbottom United next season, in a league nobody has never heard of, watched by one man and his dog and sponsored by the local kebab shop.

Let’s all blame the players then. Burn them! Generally, they’re shit. I have seen more mobility and pace on an episode of Fat Fighters USA (and those fat Americans really are big). There is also an argument for them not caring. I would also go along with that. With a very few exceptions, the fans generally have a greater devotion to the club than the players that play for it. However, these are supposed to be professional athletes. At least they should have some dignity, instead of staggering around the pitch, like they’ve soiled their shorts. They owe that to themselves, if nobody else.

It’s not just their fault. Now I really don’t like doing this, as I am still a fan of his and wish him no harm. However, Brian McDermott. The Eggman. Humpty Dumpty. Being the manager, he has to take some responsibility. He picks the useless players and tells them how to play, although granted there is an argument that if you have a cage full of one legged monkeys, you can hardly teach them any fancy tricks. I don’t like saying bad things about Brian. Brian’s my friend and I feel sorry for him. Besides which, Leeds must have sacked fifty managers in the last decade. We’re still in a Mickey Mouse League, so obviously it hasn’t done any good getting the old P45 forms out.

The person, or rather people, I personally blame for this current crisis (of which there have been many in the history of Leeds United) are the owners, GFH – Gulf Finance House. I’m not going into the ins and outs of it. I don’t want to end up being sued; and as they appear to be short of money, given the fact they’ve hardly been giving Leeds any recently, coming after me for making what may be seen as libel blog post may seem like a good source of funds.

One takeover after another has been happening behind the scenes at Leeds United. Each prospective new owner promising more than the last. I lose track of it all, but I believe the last bloke rumoured to be buying Leeds, was said to be buying back Elland Road, spending a king’s ransom on new players and giving all season ticket holders their own private jet – or was that a free Parker pen?

This takeover talk is bound to unstable the players and management. Then last week, to round things off, the cherry on top of the cake made from manure, it transpires the players were not going to be paid. Granted, given the fact they have been diabolical recently, they don’t deserve wages, but that’s not the point. It turns out they were paid, but only 50% of their wages. Why the fuck have we been in this situation?

The other enraging thing is these days we hear very little about what’s going on from the club. When GFH took over the club, it was ‘happy days’, everything was rosy, with the new owners were on Twitter more than Joey Barton. Now they’ve gone. I know I don’t have the best of memories. I sometimes even mistake dreams for reality, therefore when I thought I remembered a promise GFH made at the time of their takeover in 2012, I kind of doubted myself. The promise I recall was to communicate with the fans and keep them informed with regards to the club’s finances. I did my internet research. Turns out, it wasn’t a dream. This was promised, and here’s the proof!

I still love Leeds United. I don’t just love them. I fucking love them. But this is really getting me down. Getting me down to the extent where I don’t care if it’s a 1-0 defeat or a 6-0 thrashing. A loss is a loss. In fact, after a heavy defeat, I can even take some sadistic pleasure from it, believing that the worse things are, the more pressure there is on GFH to sell. What a fucking sad state of affairs.

With Elland Road and the training facilities already sold 10 years ago, Leeds don’t have much left… their name, their history and most importantly, their fans. Oh, and Ross McCormack.

I hope things get better soon, but doubt they will.