Is it bad that almost all the text messages and emails I receive are not from friends and family, but from pizza takeaway chains? Apparently tonight I can buy one pizza and get another free. No doubt I’ll get another text later in the week, about some bollocks promotion for Friday night. Get to feck. We ordered a pizza last week from an establishment I won’t mention, for fear of being sued, going to prison and getting raped in the showers. The pizza was disgusting. It was wet, soggy and tasted like I was eating a baby’s nappy. I will add, it wasn’t from Pizzarella, who, despite sadly changing ownership, are still by far the best pizza takeaway in Bath. No, the nappy pizza was from one of those national chains. Eugh!

One of the few texts I did receive this year which wasn’t regarding half price pizza, was from Claire. She text me from work today, to inform me that maintenance had been carried out in our house and sadly I couldn’t have a shower tonight. I don’t really like showers and could happily wander around for days in my own stale perspiration and body odour. However, work colleagues would get a bit disgusted and I don’t think Claire would like it very much either if I gave up washing. I therefore had a bath. It was a nice bath actually. I was tempted to get some candles, a glass of wine and play Enya, whilst drifting away in a tub of Radox, hopefully not passing out from the hot water and drowning in my sleep.

I was spared death by the simple fact that I have plans this evening, so therefore had to cut my bath short. I’m going down to Twerton Park to watch the irresistible force of Bath City take on the immovable object of Ebbsfleet United. Good thing I have a season ticket, as it’ll no doubt be a sell-out, with literally billions of fans watching the game on television worldwide.

Now enough of this blogging lark, it’s time for my tea. Fancy a guess of what I’m having? You’ll be jealous. Turkey Dinosaurs! Raaaaaw!

Yes, the T-Rex is eating the other dinosaur. I know what happens. I’ve seen Jurassic Park.