The past few weeks we have spotted ants in our house. Not swarms of the things, or even groups; no, solitary ants. I know lone wolves are supposed to be dangerous, so I wonder if ants on their own are more troublesome. Either way, Claire has been killing them. They were probably attracted to the ever-growing grains of sugar, cake crumbs and other bits of food finding their way into our carpet. The problem is, our vacuum cleaner is a bit rubbish. It can’t suck very well (there’s a rude joke there somewhere, but this is a family blog).
To solve our ant invasion and clean our carpet, Claire called her mum, who kindly visited our house, with her all-powerful Dyson. This Dyson is the mother of all vacuum cleaners. Such is its power, there is a setting to rip up not only the entire carpet, but also the floorboards.
The floor of our house was not destroyed. The dirt, however, was – filling not one, but two entire chambers of the Dyson. Our house is now spotless. If it was a bed and breakfast, appearing on ‘Four in a Bed’, it would score ‘10’ under the ‘How clean’ category.
We just need to get a Dyson of our own, so we can keep the house clean and those pesky ants at bay.
Today is my lovely fiancée Claire and my anniversary. Six years ago today, following a defeat for Bath City to Sutton United, I took Claire to The Boathouse pub for a meal, where I asked her if she would be my girlfriend. She must have been mad, because she said “yes”. So while every other Bath City fan that night was upset on missing out on the chance of winning promotion, we were over the moon, after winning each other’s hearts. Six years later, we’re still watching Bath City (lose), we’re living together, we’re engaged (yes, she said “yes” again!) and very, very in love. Sorry if that blog made you sick.
Panini World Cup Stickers really are like cocaine. Expensive and addictive. Maybe it’s time to reign in the sticker collecting for a bit. Claire went to Asda today and brought me back two packs. Every single sticker was a swapsie! Every single one! I believe Asda have a returns policy, where if you are not satisfied with a product, you can return it for a refund. I wonder if they’ll give us our money back on the stickers? I’m even happy to take an exchange – for more stickers, naturally. Although, if they all turn out to be swapsies, they’ll be going back too.
At last – the Easter break! I’m in a lucky position to not just have 4 days off, like most other people, but 5. I was planning on writing a lot more on this evening’s blog, as I have a few things to bore you with, but fatigue has beaten me, so I am off to bed. Hopefully I won’t sleep through the entire duration of my five days off, and I will return with a much better* blog tomorrow, but the way I am feeling right now, who knows.
* for a change
The gardener came today, so the grossly overgrown hedge and lawn now looks neat and tidy, in fitting with the all neighbours’ gardens. It was all done while I was at work, so I was sadly unable to commend the man on a sterling effort, although I suspect he will want me to pay him.
As well as grass and hedge, there are also some flowers growing outside our house. I’m not too sure what they are. I know they look pretty. They might be tulips. At the weekend, Claire noticed a woman, on our lawn, picking them!
When Claire told me, I was flabbergasted by the cheek, the audacity and the theft! I can only suspect that with the garden so poorly maintained, the woman thought it was a public green, which had been unattended to by BANES Council (this is believable). So instead of stealing from me, she was stealing from the tax payer.
Now the lawn does look nice, I’ll have my beady eye out. If I see her return for the rest of my flowers, I’ll have her. Wearing my Victor Meldrew flat cap, I’ll yell from the house “What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? If you hang on a minute I’ll fetch a vase and some water for you to put them in, if you like?”
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
