This week I have started to really look forward to the World Cup. Perhaps it is the warm summer weather, or the fact the domestic season is all but over. It could also be because I have absolutely zero confidence in England doing anything in the tournament, let alone winning it. Bath City have a better chance of winning the World Cup than England, and they’re a non-league team, who doesn’t even enter it!
I just want to be entertained by brilliant footballers. Yes I want England to do well, but Luis Suarez can bite off Wayne Rooney’s right nipple, if it makes for good television.
No doubt I’ll annoy you all by blogging more about the World Cup in weeks to come; but right now, I’m off to bed. I’ll leave you with this.
I hate TV soaps. They’re a waste of time. I can’t believe people dedicate hours of their lives every week to watching tripe. Saying that, I used to watch Brookside religiously. That was until it got taken off air. I was also an EastEnders viewer, but stopped watching after Barry fell down the hill. I even watched Coronation Street, when Richard Hillman was on his killing spree. When he drove his car into the canal and joined Barry Evans in soap heaven, I gave up on Corrie too. That was until last year, when I moved into a house with my fiancée, Claire, who forced her soap habit upon me.
Luckily Claire only watches Coronation Street, so I haven’t been subject to any of the other soaps. She has converted me though. I could have taken the decision to play on my iPad or leave the room while she was watching it, but being the loving and amazing fiancé I am, I watched it with her, even shamefully ending up liking it.
I still feel a little dirty about watching a soap and I try to justify my viewing of it by telling myself I like the entertaining Meerkat sponsorship adverts. HOWEVER, this is my first and LAST blog about soaps. The only reason I am doing this, is so in a few months, I can say “I told you so”. OK, the “I told you so” blog will be my SECOND blog about a soap, but it’ll be linked to this one, so… errr… just shut up!
Basically, there is an upcoming storyline, where a girl called Tina gets killed. It is one of these ‘who dunnits?’ EastEnders did it years ago when Phil Mitchell got shot. ITV have already named the four possible suspects – a man called Peter, who Tina is having an affair with. Peter’s wife, Carla. Then there is Rob and Tracey – both of who are related in some way to Peter and are also carrying out some kind of illegal activity involving hair dryers, which Tina is aware of… MY GOD, just typing that shite makes me realise how bad soaps are, yet I still watch!
My theory is that Tina’s murderer is none of the four characters that ITV have identified in their big pre-murder promo. Inspector Sean is on the case and I believe that Tina will be killed by Maria. Maria lives above the hairdressers and is going absolutely bat shit crazy over some bloke who works in a garage. Maria is the one who will kill Tina and when it all comes out in the next few months, I’ll be laughing…
Now I’m going to watch some telly, which isn’t a soap, to make me feel better about myself – The Best of Wife Swap, on DVD.
WARNING: THIS BLOG POST CONTAINS IMAGES SOME READERS MAY FIND DISTURBING
You were warned. I found this gruesome discovery this morning, after opening my desk drawer. This poor chocolate bar met an awful fate after being left in the office over the hot weekend.
I find it sickening how so much publicity goes into reminding people not to leave dogs in hot cars, yet there are hardly any public service announcements, warning of the dangers of unattended chocolate bars in warm weather.
The government or somebody should really set up a group to look after chocolate. “The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Chocolate”, or NSPCC for short. Unfortunately, it is a poor reflection on this country, as this will never happen, and more chocolate bars will be lost (and melted) this summer.
I will do my best to save this unfortunate bar of Galaxy, by placing it in the fridge for a few hours. Sadly, it’ll never recover to its original state.
Luckily, the Double Decker, which was also left in my desk drawer managed to survive the hot weekend and did not melt. I have eaten it.
With the football season all but over, I thought I would dish out a few awards and congratulations to some teams and people in English football – as well as reasons why…
Firstly, well done to Cambridge United on their promotion back to the Football League this afternoon. No doubt Stephen Hawking is dancing on the streets. Why am I praising them? Well, they gave me one of my greatest memories as a Bath City fan…
No, my greatest memory wasn’t of a half-naked man, it was of the half-naked man (Kaid Mohamed), scoring a last minute goal against Cambridge United, to give Bath City their first away win in the Conference Premier. A moment all Cambridge fans will no doubt try and forget, but one I hopefully never will.
My second congrats go to Mr. Arsené Wenger and his Arsenal boys. They finally won a trophy, for the first time in 90 years. “Why Arsenal?” you are all no doubt shouting at your PC screens. Again, my fondness towards a team I don’t support comes from one of my own clubs inflicting misery upon them – in this case Leeds United, when big Mark Viduka scored late on, from an offside position, to deny Arsenal the league title and keep Leeds in the Premier League. Maybe he shouldn’t have bothered. Arsenal’s defeat meant Manchester United won the league instead, and Leeds went down the following year anyway, after an absolutely dog shite season, which saw us lose 6-1 to Portsmouth. 6 fuckin’ 1 to PORTSMOUTH!
Finally, a lifetime achievement award. This highly prestige award goes to a man who, not only has had a very successful year in the world of football, as manager of a top flight club; he has also starred in a Hollywood movie. Despite the limelight, he likes to keep himself to himself and hasn’t let the fame go to his head. The down to earth man can even be found in his local greasy spoon café, located in the streets of East Yorkshire, on Monday mornings… and afternoons. And Tuesdays, in fact. Wednesday’s too. Indeed, whenever you want to catch this man, just pop into Billy’s Breakfast Bar and you’ll find him. Manager of Hull City and star of Ghostbusters 2, where the played The Marshmallow Man, it can only be, Steve Bruce.
This evening, I will be attending this
I’ve seen a few donkeys during my time as a Bath City fan, so it’s nice to see the club has reflected its on-the-field progression, by having a race horse theme. Hopefully next season we’ll be celebrating promotion, with a wild stallion night.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
