The Hock gets the chop.
We had two potential worrying things happen at home yesterday. In the night, the neighbour’s dog started barking and going mental. This is not unusual to happen in the day. This dog barks at anything on the street, whether it is a person, car or another dog. At night, however, it is usually quiet. Presumably tired from barking all day, and just sleeps. We don’t know why it went mad. Jumping to the worst possible scenario, we thought there may be an intruder. We couldn’t find anything untoward. In the morning, we noticed that the handle on our garden gate had been lifted. This is was now shit-your-pants-scary. I told myself that there must be a rational explanation. There was. When leaving for work, I noticed a box of fruit sitting on the doorstep. We get a box of fruit delivered every week, so this was not unexpected. In the past, we have also asked the fruit delivery man to leave the box in our back garden, and have left the gate open for him. Obviously he tried to get through the gate, which would explain the handle. Mystery solved. I soiled myself for nothing. I still don’t know why the stupid dog barked though.
Later that day, we received a letter from our letting agency. We have recently renewed the lease on our house for another year. The letter sent yesterday included a section entitled “Notice of Possession”. At first glance, it appeared the landlord wanted the property back next year. Despite this being 12 months away, this would still be awful for Claire and me, as we have made the house our home. Plus, with a wedding to plan for next year, the last thing we need to be doing is hunting for another palce to live. Luckily, after re-reading the notice and comparing it to last year’s documents, it appears this is just a standard thing to send out and does not mean we have to leave year… we’re not guaranteed to keep the place either, but oh well…
This was waiting on my desk when I arrived in work yesterday morning.
It is a can of San Pellegrino Sparkling Lemon Juice and is from my work colleague, Pav. This is a prize for a bet we made. We are playing the Sky Sports Super Six online game. This involves predicting the results of six football games, selected by Sky. Pav and I are taking part and have agreed to buy the one who gets the least amount of points over the weekend, a San Pellegrino. I did abysmally. Pav did worse, so he paid up. I am sure I will be buying him a large number of drinks over the course of the season too!
We also have another wager, with a far greater prize – a Mattys breakfast! This is being done across the course of the season. It would be far too expensive to buy one of those every week. I have bet Pav that Leeds United will win more games than his team, West Ham. We have a second bet running where another Mattys has also been staked. Similar to the Leeds/West Ham bet, but this involves Bath City winning more matches than Larkhall Athletic. So far Leeds and West Ham have won one each. Bath City have won a grand total of ZERO football matches, while Larkhall have won THREE. I had better start saving my pocket money to pay Mr Matty…
There were trillions of slugs on the streets of Weston this morning. On the short walk to work, I made many observations on the slimy creatures.
Most of the slugs were dead, with their guts spawn across the pavement. The fatal injury was probably caused by a bird’s beak, but most likely, the foot of a person, not looking where they are going, while walking to work. It was a gruesome sight and reminded me of the Normany Beach scene from Saving Private Ryan.
My second observation was that slugs are cannibals. Surrounding most of the dead slugs, were other slugs, gorging on the bowels and organs of their dead and dying relatives.
Observation number three, is that in today’s society, where we are all part of the ‘Health and Safety Gone Mad Brigade’, these slugs are a real issue. A danger. If someone were to slip on one of these things, they could break their leg, or worse, die. You’ll get no sympathy, either. Imagine going to A&E, with a broken arm. They ask how you hurt yourself. “I slipped on a slug”. That’s even more pathetic than a banana skin. You would be laughed at.
My fourth and final observation is, unlike snails, you can’t even eat slugs. Somebody must have tried, which is pretty disgusting in all honesty.
Bath City played this afternoon. They lost. I got soaking wet in rain that didn’t stop throughout the entire game. To sum things up, the opposition goalkeeper scored. I have never seen a goalkeeper score from open play – until today. Bugger.