So, after 24 hours of internet speculation, suggesting that the buffoon, David Hockaday, is to be sacked by Leeds United, it was tonight announced that he’ll be staying at Elland Road… for now.
I wrote a short blog with my thoughts on Leeds United’s decision to keep Hockaday in a job, but first ran them by disgraced former Cardiff City manager, Malky Mackay. He said my words were far too offensive to be posted anywhere, ever. Sorry, folks – no blog today.
Leeds played Watford today and lost 4-1. Reading the online match report, a quote jumped out at me. “I thought we came here and did a very, very good job”.
Given the fact Watford had just thrashed Leeds by four goals to one, anybody of sound body and mind would naturally assume these were the words of someone connected to Watford Football Club, most likely their manager. You wouldn’t blame the Watford boss for saying such a quote either. To beat any team 4-1, you would have indeed had to of done “a very, very good job”
You may be wondering why, as a Leeds United supporter, I am bothering to blog about the words of the opposition manager. You would be right to wonder that, except for the fact the man responsible for the above quote was not the Watford manager, nor were they from an employee of the club, a fan, or anyone connected to Watford Football Club whatsoever. The man who thought his team did “a very, very good job” was none other than Dave Hockaday, the coach of Leeds United. That’s right, LEEDS UNITED – the team who LOST 4-1! Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof.
Errr, Dave… You do realise you LOST?
How the hell Mr Hockaday feels he can justify making such a ridiculous statement is beyond me. I can only assume he is insane and believes it was his team that won 4-1. Being a modern day organisation, Leeds United Football Club is almost certainly an equal opportunities employer, and I would support this. However, there is a limit, and when that limit involves the head coach of the football club thinking that his own team getting raped by the opposition is “a very, very good job”, then it’s time to go back to wherever he came from. Incidentally, in Dave Hockaday’s case, it’s the dole office, after he was sacked by non-league Forest Green Rovers, ten months ago.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it is OK to completely fuck up at what you’re paid to do. If that is the case, please, somebody correct me, as I will go into work, after the Bank Holiday weekend, smash up all the computers, urinate into the water dispenser before curling up into a ball and having a nap under the desk. Presumably, in Dave Hockday’s eyes, that is doing “a very, very good job”?
Has anyone ever watched the Channel 4 TV series ‘Undercover Boss’? If you haven’t, the general gist of the programme involves following the owner of a failing company, who dresses up, gets down from their ivory tower and works alongside those who are made out to be the ‘worker ants’ – the everyday employees. This is all done in secret, of course. A TV camera films the manager, who poses as a trainee or somebody looking for work.
Channel 4 have been running the show for a while now, and every time the worker ants are told at the end of the series that it was all a setup. They seem overwhelmed with surprise. They’re a bit thick, aren’t they? How may TV series have you watched, involving a trainee starting a new job? From memory, none. How many follow the ‘big boss man’ pretending to be a trainee? Errr… one – Undercover Boss! Therefore, if you are ever asked to take part in a television documentary, helping a new starter at your work, just cut to the chase – pull their wig and fake mustache off, shout at them for being forced to work in a shithole and not getting a pay rise for five years, before asking for a free family holiday to Bognor Regis. Of course, there’s a first time for everything, and by following my advice, you could end up assaulting a trainee in front of Channel 4’s TV cameras.
It’s been well over a week into the football season, and by my standards, I haven’t really blogged much about it. You’ll have read about my trip to Concord Rangers a couple of Saturdays ago. What a disaster that was. While Bath City were losing their opening game in Essex, things weren’t going much better for Leeds in London, who lost 2-0 at Millwall. Hardly a surprise, given the fact they have the less than inspiring manager/coach/dogsbody, David Hockaday – a manager who failed in non-league! Things could only get better, surely?
Well for Leeds, yes they did. The following Tuesday, they hosted Accrington Stanley (yes, yes, I know, “who are they?”) in the cup. Leeds won. Bloody good job too. Had they lost to Accrington, I would probably kill myself, by drowning in a vat of milk. Bath City failed to improve on Saturday. In fact, they got worse! 29 minutes into the game, they found themselves 4-0 down to Basingstoke Town. Like with Accrington Stanley, you could also refer to Basingstoke with the expression “Who are they?” Not because they have been in a milk advert from the 1970’s, but because nobody knows who the fuck they are! We’re not playing Real Madrid. It’s Basingstoke bloody Town! As well as beating the titans of Accrington, Leeds also managed to get a player sent off, for one of the dirtiest challenges I have seen in years. It was practically GBH. I say “practically”, it was. Picture the scene – Accrington player tries to get football. Leeds player sees Accrington player. Jumps about five feet into the air and Kung-Fu kicks Accrington player. Cue a red card. No objections. David Hockaday gave his opinion on the incident post match. He was so appalled, I thought he was going to cry blood. You need to read up on Leeds’ history, Dave. Google “Dirty Leeds”.
The weekend came, with renewed optimism for Bath City and me praying Leeds could win in the league as well as in the cup. The Leeds game was on TV. Hardly a surprise. Anyone with Sky Sports will tell you Leeds had their games televised about 500 times last season. Given my lack of confidence in Mr. Hockaday, I could see nothing but a defeat for a relegation-doomed Leeds. Therefore, I was pleasantly surprised when new signing Billy Sharp (who I now refer to as “Billy Sharp Sharp Sharp”) scored in the dying minutes of the game. I shouted. Loud. The neighbours probably heard and were startled and disturbed. Their dog, who barks at any person or vehicle passing through the street, probably soiled itself – or died. I hope it didn’t die. The surprising Leeds victory did please me. Being a bitter Leeds fan, however, I will be given zero credit to David Hockaday.
After savouring the Leeds win, it was all down to Twerton Park to watch Bath City (hopefully) do the same and get their first 3 points of the season. The performance was a lot better than the other two games. City got to 29 minutes, without finding themselves 4-0 down. In fact they hadn’t conceded at all. It was just a pity they hadn’t scored either. Half time came and there were still no goals. An ice cream van was parked in the ground. Naturally, ice cream was bought and consumed. Things were looking up. We weren’t losing AND we were eating ice cream! The remainder of the game wasn’t as good. There was no defeat for Bath, nor was there a victory, or any goals for that matter. The entire match was overshadowed by a very nasty looking injury to new signing, Phil Walsh, who, after landing badly, appeared to break his leg or ankle. After a long delay, he was stretchered off. Looking at the sickened reaction of the players who checked on Phil’s wellbeing, it must have been a disgusting fracture. Get well soon, Walshy.
It’s now Tuesday. Bath City have a week or so off, and are not playing again until Bank Holiday Monday. Leeds are not so lucky. The unfortunate, overworked, millionaire footballers have to play this evening. Poor souls. Pray for Leeds.
I went into town yesterday. After a nightmare searching for somewhere to park in Avon Street car park, we got to the Cosy Club restaurant for lunch. I tried Tapas, something I haven’t gone for before. The Tapas included cocktail sausages, which were of very good quality and well marinated in some onion-type sauce. Not like the kind you get on sticks and a childrens birthday party. The other dish was a bowl of chipped potatoes with a green sauce. They were nice. The third offering, I wasn’t too happy with. It was a kind of coleslaw with bits of chicken. To be fair to the restaurant, I could tell the dish was of a high quality, and it was simply personal taste why I didn’t like it. The waitress, noticing I had left part of my meal, kindly offered me a complimentary coffee. I know I have moaned about restaurants on my blog in the past, but I was left impressed with The Cosy Club. Claire and I will be returning for more Tapas the next time we’re in Bath.
The best juice I’ve ever drank
TAPAS!
After being fed, we ventured onto the streets of Bath. It was busy. Very busy. Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, but the entire world descended upon the city. We kept shopping to a minimum, firstly looking in one of chose cheap book shops. There wasn’t any books worth reading and it quickly became apparent why these books were so cheap. Because they’re shit.
Primark was the next stop. I have wanted to visit this shop for a while. Reading the local newspaper and Twitter, a lot of local residents objected to the budget clothes store being opened. Visiting ‘Primarny’, it was clear Bath DOES needs such a store, judging by the face the place was heaving with shoppers. We can’t all afford to kit our wardrobe from the likes of Superdry and River Island. After a mammoth shopping session, I acquired some Family Guy pyjamas and T-Shirt. A Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, blue hoodie, a winter warmer and a couple of packets of sweets. Claire also chucked a few things into the shopping bag. The total bill? A shy over sixty pounds. You would struggle to get a single item of clothing in some of the other high street shops.
On the way back to the car park, we stopped at Marks and Spencers to pick up some food. We accidently stumbled into Krispy Kreme. As we were in there, we thought it would be rude not to buy a box of doughnuts. I also saw this sign on the bins, which amused me so much I took a photo (which annoyed Claire).
Why is it only written in Chinese/Japanese? Are BANES Council suggesting the English, French, Germans etc don’t feed the gulls?
Later that day, I stuck the set of garden lights into the lawn of our front garden. We had let the grass grow far too long and my Dad came round to kindly mow it. I’ve had the lights in a Sainsbury’s bag for weeks, waiting for the grass to be cut. They’re now taking pride of place outside our house and look amazing at night. A productive day.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
