Sorry for the lack of blog in ages. I know I have said this many a time, but I’ll try to blog more frequently in future, blah blah blah…
Anyway, today’s blog is about a dream I had last night. I dreamt that I was watching Sky Sports News.
In my dream, Leeds were playing Burton Albion – a small club, who have done well of late, winning numerous promotions from non-league, all the way to The Championship, where Leeds themselves play (sadly).
Burton were beating Leeds. As with all games covered by Sky, a pundit was reporting on the match – in this case, Charlie Nicholas had invaded my dream.
Charlie was furious. Furious at the fact Leeds were playing so badly and losing to Burton Albion.
The scary thing is that when Leeds eventually do play Burton, sometime during the next 9 months, my dream could well become a reality.
I haven’t done a live football blog for a couple of years, so thought it was about time I did one. The way this works is simple – I watch a game of football on TV, and blog my thoughts as the match goes on. I know nobody will read it as it happens (it won’t even be uploaded until full time anyway) and am aware it probably won’t even be seen once the game has finished!
The match I am watching tonight is Wales against Portugal in the semi-final of Euro 2016. England are long gone from the competition, so no need to mention those losers.
I’m not sure who I want to win this one. Wales are British, and up until a week or so ago, I would have supported them without a shadow of a doubt. Then I saw their players and fans celebrating England getting knocked out. I can’t blame them. If I wasn’t English, I would be laughing too – but Wales can’t have it both ways – you can’t want England to lose, but expect the English to want you to win.
That said, whatever Wales do tonight, every single player has done themselves and their country proud. It has been a fantastic team performance and they must be commended. Well done Wales!
Then there is Portugal. I hate Portugal. They twice knocked England out of international tournaments and more importantly, have the vilest football player in the world in their ranks – Cristiano Ronaldo. If Wales win, I won’t be singing for joy, but I will snigger at Ronaldo’s tears.
Finally, before I get going, please forgive any spelling mistakes, as I am writing this on the fly!
19:56
National anthems. Wales have just done theirs. Portugal singing theirs. The same one they sung before knocking England out in Euro 2004 and the 2006 World Cup.
20:00
We’re off and I’m happy already. The game is on ITV, so that means no Robbie Savage commentating.
20:01
One minute and twenty-three seconds in. Portugal gave a player rolling around the floor in agony. Standard.
20:02
Hahaha. Ronaldo fairly tackled. Sits on his arse, arms widespread, crying to the referee. Whatever is Portuguese for “It’s not fair”, you can guarantee Ronaldo is shouting it.
20:05
As I blog, I am also having to wat my tea. This evening’s meal is southern fried chicken, chips and vegetables. I could have gone for a football related meal of Peri Peri Chicken and Welsh Lamb.
20:14
Nothing much going on. Still 0-0. I’ve been on Twitter, trying to find the score between Bath City and Chipping Sodbury in a preseason friendly. Priorities, you see.
20:18
Wales have a corner… a goal is surely imminent… Gareth Bale shoots right over the bar.
20:22
Ronaldo doing that’s stupid dancing thing with his feet. I wish somebody would break him.
20:35
I’m still watching and it’s still 0-0. OK, I lie. I have been entertaining myself watching videos on Twitter of “Things that sound better with Titanic music”.
20:39
This is so boring. The other semi-final, on tomorrow, is France against Germany. Can’t that be the final instead?
20:40
If England were in this semi-final, you’d be guaranteed goals. Granted, they would be for the opposition.
20:45
Well that was shit. It’s half time and I’m tempted to stick the tennis on. I hate tennis.
21:05
My half time interval was more productive than anything those footballers did during the first 45 minutes. I went for a wee, tidied away tea, got some chocolate yoghurt for pudding and prepared lunch for work tomorrow. As soon as I sat down to type this entry, Portugal took the lead. Ronaldo. Who else? Dammit.
21:08
The other thing I did at half time was listen to the Bath City commentary. They are drawing 1-1. Mental scenes down Chipping Sodbury!
21:09
2-0 Portugal. I think I tempted fate by criticising the first half.
21:20
I read a tweet from an England fan, telling Wales that they now know how we feel. No… the only way the Welsh would know how we feel is if their players each wiped their shitty arse on the Wales flag, in the centre circle, before feeding Tom Jones to Robbie Savage.
21:29
Ronaldo booked. If he ends up getting sent off, regardless of the result, it’ll be the greatest moment in the entire tournament.
21:32
At least it looks like there won’t be extra time. I could do with an early night.
21:42
It’s all gone quiet again. Wales burnt out and Portugal happy to see things out. Can I go to bed yet?
21:47
Wales’ Joe Allen should probably have been sent off there. It wouldn’t have made a difference to the outcome, but it would be a very English way to exit a tournament – seeing red.
21:48
All I can hear on the TV are Welsh voices singing. The fans are doing their country proud, as have their players.
21:49
The Welsh dream is over. Feel kind of sorry for them, but they been immense. Every player and supporter should be full of pride. The best football nation in Britain.
I’m not going to spend long doing this blog, as I don’t want to waste anymore of my life on the useless shower of shit that is the England National Football Team.
I’ll admit that I thought England would beat Iceland, but only because “on paper”, they should. I also had a very bad feeling about the game. A bad feeling because I have seen England teams fail time after time, in an unacceptable and humiliating fashion, during major tournaments.
The England footballers live in their own bubble, isolated from the rest of the world, where they believe that they are superior to every man, woman, child and non-English footballer. With that attitude, which has followed them around, like a fart in a car, since Euro 96, they thought they would just have to turn up in Nice and Iceland would roll over and be crushed.
Iceland had other ideas. With a population of just over 300,000 that means there are approximately 150,000 men. That leaves about 30,000 men between the age of 18 and 40 to choose from. That is less than the attendance at Elland Road. Iceland could turn up at Leeds United and pick 23 fans from the crowd, to play for them – and guess what, I bet that team would beat England too! An England side whose players get tens of thousands of pounds a week – millions of pounds a year – EACH! For what? Being English.
The England players are average, but because they’re English, cost a hell of a lot more than their superior foreign counterparts. They therefore think they are some form of football God. They’re not a God, they’re just lucky. Lucky that they live in a country which has a franchise known as The Premier League. Lucky that they’re surrounded by talented foreign players, who carry them throughout their club career, and make them look better than they are. They didn’t do anything to justify their millions, besides being born in England. If they had been born in Iceland, France or Germany, their weekly pay packet would be much smaller.
The result didn’t surprise me. I’ve seen England crash out of more tournaments than I care to remember. What did surprise me is the levels of shit they stoop to during every tournament.
The manager, Roy Hodgson has been equally embarrassing as they players. He should have left after the last World Cup, which was the most humiliating experience I have every witnessed as an England fan – until yesterday. Yes, he resigned yesterday – well fuckin’ done – Roy’s contract was up anyway. Had he had any decency, he would have resigned two years ago, but oh no, with his multi-million pound pay packet, Hodgson can revel in getting rich for failing (just like the players).
Roy was given years to find his preferred team, but even during the tournament he didn’t know his best formation or players. What a useless shit. The only thing you can guarantee is he will find a way to get Wayne Rooney into the team. England are full of average players, and Rooney isn’t even the best player in that team! He was great in Euro 2004, but that was over a decade ago!
I don’t know who will replace Hodgson. Whoever it’ll be will be the wrong appointment, as The FA never ever get it right. I really fear that they will go for Gareth Southgate – the England Under 21 manager. Southgate may have worked with the youngsters, but he has been everything the failure with them that Hodgson was with the senior flops. If the FA dare appoint Southgate, I’ve had it with them.
We have been enjoying a Cornish holiday, to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary; staying in a lovely wooden lodge, surrounded by picturesque countryside. The holiday promised lots of rest and relaxation – something we have received by the bucket load.
On our arrival, the lodge was spotlessly clean. We were treated to a pamper pack, with flowers, bathrobes, champagne and chocolates (well, it is our anniversary). One of the best things about the lodge was it came with its own private hot tub, which we enjoyed very much! I wish that I could fit the hot tub in the back of the car and take it home.
Something else that I’d like to take home, but Claire forbid it, was the hens and ducks, who live onsite in a cute little hen house. I will openly admit to holding a conversation with some chickens, who I am adamant talked back in their own way (probably asking for food). I’ll certainly think differently next time I eat a McNugget.
One of our trips away from the lodge was to the theme park, Flambards. I haven’t been there since I was a child. It has changed a lot since the 1990s. A few attractions from back then still remain, including the Blitz and Victorian exhibitions (although the latter seems a lot larger than I remembered). There are many new rides at the park, although one of my childhood favourites was still there – the spinning hot air balloons. As the weather was wet and we had just eaten lunch, we decided against going on any of the rides ourselves, especially after we overheard a child moaning how he was going to puke after getting off a fast moving rollercoaster. Flambards have their own amusement arcade, which always draw us in, like bees to honey. Claire is a fan of the claw machines, while I love the 2p pusher. I was a little disappointed with the quality of prizes on the 2p machine – no ceramic ducks or dogs, like we won at Butlins – just crap sweets, which were probably out of date and tainted with a taste of copper. I didn’t win anything anyway. Claire was equally saddened by the fact the claw failed to pick up any soft toy Minions for her.
The only downside about our holiday has been the weather. As I type this blog, on the final day of our break, the rain is battering our little lodge. It is nice and cosy, but not when you want to venture out and about. Another of our days out was into Bude town centre. Bude is a nice little town. We managed to buy some souvenirs and gifts from a shop, which smelt of a mix of dog and seaweed. A wonderful sweetshop was discovered, which we spent far too much money in, while sheltering from an almighty downpour of rain, which caused a river of water to run down the high street.
Last, and by no means least, we did what everyone who visits Cornwall should do – buy a pasty and cream tea. Pasties and cream teas from Cornwall are amazing – there is no competition. You must ensure you make your cream tea correctly, though. Jam onto the scone first, followed by the cream. To do it the other way (cream, before jam), is what they do in Devon, and sacrilege in Cornwall.
We have had an amazing holiday, despite the weather. It has been such a great way to celebrate our first wedding anniversary – we have already looked into coming back in future years. For those interested, we stayed in Ivyleaf Combe Lodges – I would recommend this place to anyone.
So the referendum is over and we are no longer a member of the European Union – and it sucks. I have no shame in admitting that I voted ‘Remain’.
When I first learnt the news, as well as being very disappointed, I was angry. Angry at the people who voted to leave. I assumed they were all doing it for selfish reasons. Walking down the high street, later that day, and noticing the elderly, I cursed them in my head, for being in one of the brackets who voted to leave.
A day later, I am feeling slightly different. Yes, I am still disappointed and yes, I still believe it was the wrong decision to leave, and something we will pay for in the future. However, my anger is not directed at the voters. We live in a country where we have the freedom to vote, without prejudice. This is something which we should cherish, as there are many places in the world where people are not given such a privilege. I may strongly disagree with those who voted ‘Leave’, but I respect their opinion and right to vote. After all, had we remained in the EU, I would be against anyone criticising my vote.
What I do think was handled badly were the campaigns in the run up to the referendum. Tabloid papers did a good job at trying to convince the British public that by leaving the EU, all our immigration issues would be solved, when in fact, there is nothing to suggest this is the case. There were also leaflets and posters suggesting that by cutting funding to the EU, more money would be available to the NHS. This has since been ruled out by pro-leave campaigners – funny how they only say this after the result!
As our Prime Minister, David Cameron should have done more to sell the positives of remaining in the EU, as should leaders of other parties. The one major difference I would have liked to have seen in the whole handling of the referendum, would have been to allow 16 and 17 year olds to vote. At that age, you can marry, as well as join the Army and go to war. It seems strange that young people of that age were not allowed to vote in something of such importance for the rest of their lives.
Nobody knows for sure what will happen as a result of Britain leaving the EU – we will just have to wait and see what unfolds and pray for the best. A sad day.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
