I received an email a few days ago, informing me that my car was inappropriately parked and was at risk of being towed away…
There are a few things in this email which have made me question its authenticity, or if it was even intended for me.
Firstly, the most obvious clue… The name is wrong. You should know this because you are on SeansStories.com and not StevensStories.com – whereas I know it is not me because Steven Kitson is not my name.
Secondly, the location in which the car is parked is somewhere in America. As far as I am aware, I have never left Europe in my lifetime. I do remember an episode of The Simpsons, where Barney drives Homer’s car all the way to New York, only to park it illegally. I think he forgets.
It is therefore entirely possible that I somehow got a plane to the U S of A, acquired a SUV, went for a drive, dumped it somewhere, before returning home to England. However, given the fact I can’t even get myself into the shower at the moment, I think the idea of me catching a plane halfway around the world, is a little far-fetched.
To help solve the crime, I thought that I would carry out some investigations – after all, it would be nice to know exactly what I’m being accused of – or what Steven has done.
A business address was included in the email. I took this address and entered it into Google Maps.
This is what I found…
A pretty nice looking location. No wonder they don’t want any Tom, Dick or Harry dumping cars in their car park.
I did get a bit excited when I saw the white car. Especially with a woman getting in or out. There was the culprit! Sadly, although the vehicle on Google Maps is white – as is the one I allegedly dumped – it is not a Kia SUV. Oh, and yes, I did have to search Google Images to be sure!
This building and very attractive lake is directly opposite the car park on the previous screenshot. The entire place looks so calm and clean. There has to be a disadvantage of living here – the locals are probably all Trump supporters.
The main road (or is it the highway?) also looks like the place you could easily get mowed down by a truck. Try getting blood and bits of brain out of tarmac…
It has been seven weeks since I properly updated you all on my health. It was two days before my birthday, and I was full of the joys of spring, as I could see light at the end of the recovery tunnel.
Frustratingly, I am still in the tunnel and although the light appears closer, it is taking a hell of a lot longer to reach than I envisaged 49 days ago.
On that day in March, I was jubilant at how I had taken myself from the bedroom to the sofa downstairs, using my frame, wheelchair and the stair lift.
Since then, a ‘normal’ day for me would involve walking with the frame all the way to the stair lift – at the time of my last health update, I had to take a rest mid-journey. At least since then, I have been making the transfer in one go. The wheelchair would be waiting at the foot of the stairs to take me to the sofa.
Trying to remember how I was in March, I can’t recall how many days a week I would spend downstairs, or for how long. Seven weeks on, I have found myself having to spend one day a week upstairs, as I am still subject to tremendous fatigue. At least I can now claim to be spending most of the week downstairs, where I will stay for about eight hours.
I am feeling very frustrated at my recovery time. It seems to be taking forever and while minor improvements have been made, I don’t seem to be making major progress. I am still reliant upon Claire for many essential, yet basic aspects of care.
My doctor has extended my sick note until early June. Not that I need to worry about returning to the office then – as you accrue annual leave, even when off sick, I have many weeks of holiday to take. Although I don’t think ‘holiday’ is the right word – like most people, I won’t be going away on my hols anytime soon. COVID-19 has placed me under house arrest until at least July! That isolation timer on the right of this blog is set to climb higher and higher.
I have often wondered what will happen once the clock reaches 100 days. Will there be enough room to fit the additional number? Will it break my website? Perhaps one hundred days and nights, without leaving the house, will break me.
Returning to my frustrations – I made the conscious decision that instead of moping around, feeling sorry for myself and talking about what my next steps to recovery will be, I’ll do something about it! After all, actions speak louder than words… isn’t that right, Mr. Prime Minister?
So, without further ado, here is a list of additions to my daily routine, which I hope will help improve my conditioning and overall fitness…
- As well as walking to the stairlift upstairs, getting off at the bottom and walking with my frame to the sofa.
- Remaining downstairs for around eight hours a time.
- Pushing myself to get out of bed and go downstairs every day and not just five or six days a week.
All these new plans are currently in operation. I hope it will be less than seven weeks before I feel the need to add new tasks to my regime.
If I want to return to how I was before falling off my scooter, I must stay active and continue to increase my activity levels.
Before I start this blog post, I would like to stress how I am fully aware that there are many serious issues affecting the world right now. Areas of entertainment and sport like football, are insignificant compared to the death and illness associated with the coronavirus pandemic.
As any football fan will know, the English season has been suspended. In fact, much of non-league has been declared void, with all league games cancelled.
This has left supporters of Premier League and Football League clubs wondering about the remaining fixtures and how, when or even if they will be played.
From a personal point of view, with absolutely no inside knowledge from the likes of the World Health Organisation, I cannot see how any event involving large crowds could safely take place until January 2021 at the earliest. A rather bold prediction and totally based on nothing, but if you think it sounds extreme, when do YOU think it’ll be safe again?
A grand total of 91 clubs are effectively in limbo, with no football to play and no idea what will happen next.
The three clubs that appear to be gaining the most attention are Liverpool, West Brom and my beloved Leeds United.
Liverpool are on the verge of winning their first league title since 1990. West Brom find themselves vying for promotion; while Leeds sit comfortably on top of the Championship, hoping for promotion to the Premier League themselves… it’s only been 16 years.
The elephant in the room has to be the question fans of the three aforementioned clubs are all asking – “what’s going to happen to our title/promotion?”.
Liverpool are virtually home and dry with regards to winning the league. West Brom and especially Leeds, will both argue that should the season be cancelled, given their league position and small number of games remaining, anything but promotion would be greatly unfair.
If there is a way in which the outstanding fixtures could be safely fulfilled, that is fantastic and I’ll of course accept the season outcome – regardless of whether or not Leeds go up.
Should the Premier and Football League deem that the season cannot be safely concluded, decisions must be made to provide the fairest possible resolution.
Whatever decision is made, there will be many angry clubs and supporters. Football lawyers will be licking their lips at the financial prospect of the inevitable court cases.
As I have already said, the coronavirus pandemic has naturally made everything else irrelevant right now. However, it won’t always be like this. There will come a time when football returns.
When this happens, Liverpool could find themselves battling to get fourth place and 20 points from the top of the league, which they were denied in 2020. Leeds, having had all their 2019/20 results expunged and no promotion awarded, could return to how things were three or four years ago – in the lower reaches of the Championship – closer to League One than the top flight.
So while football doesn’t matter now, eventually it will be important again. This is why it is essential that correct and fair decisions be made.
Leeds fans claim that the club is cursed. Up until now, I didn’t believe this, despite all the crazy dramas to have befallen Elland Road over the years.
SOMEONE IN LEEDS CLEARLY SMASHED A FEW MIRRORS IN THE 1920s
If the current season is declared null and void, with Leeds being denied promotion, my stance on the mythical curse will probably change…
This season should have been the best opportunity that Leeds will ever get to win promotion. What the hell were the chances of a never before seen killer virus, taking over the entire world and causing all football to end?
Leeds probably won’t get a chance like this for over a hundred years. As a result of the curse, the next time they’re this good, the 2125/2126 season will also be terminated early, thanks to the 2126 Ten Plagues of England.
I bet even in 106 years time, Richard Branson (yes, he’ll still be going) will be asking for Virgin Lunar Travel to be bailed out by the taxpayer, after the country’s water supply is turned into blood.
I read how the recent daily death toll from COVID-19 has dropped. I still find the numbers disgusting high, but made my feelings on that matter perfectly clear yesterday.
While any reduction in fatalities is positive, I am concerned that people will get complacent and see this an excuse to return to normality. Claire told me how #lockdownends was trending on Twitter.
At the time of blogging, ‘Lenient Lockdown’ is still very much in place. I call it that because of the comparison between how the British authorities handle those who break the rules, compared to the Spanish…
British Police: “Excuse me, chaps. Sorry to interrupt your picnic, but I really must ask you to return homes… please… once you’ve finished your scotch egg, of course.”
Policia Español: “¡Vete a la mierda, malditos coños! De lo contrario, mi perro te matará!”
The Spanish police are far more efficient than our PC Plum. They are also a lot more crude. If you don’t speak Spanish and wish to know what is written above, translators are available online – but probably best not to ask Alexa to tell you, especially while little Timmy is in earshot!
Along with the #lockdownends trend, I have also read suggestions that our government may easing restrictions. For fucks sake…
This news is being celebrated (not by me). Ironically, those rejoicing the most are the individuals disobeying lockdown, anyway!
There were absolutely loads of people enjoying the hills and fields behind our house, yesterday. This included some large groups, of which I would be surprised if they all lived in the same household.
Any budding entrepreneur, hoping to cash in on the pandemic, should park an ice cream van in one of the fields. There is a killing to be made there – sadly, quite literally.
The road separating our garden from the fields was also incredibly busy with traffic. I thought that driving was only permitted in the event of the journey being essential. That’s a lot of essential travel!
Claire even spotted two cars stop and park, only for a female passenger to get out of one vehicle and enter the other. Where do you even begin to justify that?
All this was happening very close to midday. If I was to be sceptical, I would say that a lot of people were going out for Sunday lunch. Roast chicken, Yorkshire pudding, potatoes, veg and a generous portion of COVID-19. De-lic-ious!
Our neighbours are just as bad. I refer to the family I have blogged about many times before. They park their many vehicles without consideration for others, let their annoying dog run wild and put their own excess rubbish in other residents’ wheely-bins.
Yesterday afternoon, they made numerous trips to their two cars, with the entire family in tow. They even received visitors of their own – visitors they had no hesitation in inviting into their home. I guess what they lack in common sense, they make up for in manners to their in-laws.
I have reached the point where I can no longer be concerned for those who break lockdown rules. We have all been made aware of the dangers of contracting the virus and have been told to remain at home.
I think of those people in the same way I do smokers. With pity. Of course, I want them to live a long and healthy life, remaining disease-free. But we all know that smoking over 20 fags a day will never end well. I cannot worry for smokers, as I cannot change their ways.
It is the same with those who are ignoring lockdown. The more they mix with people from outside of their homes, the greater the risk of catching the deadly virus.
The major difference between smokers and the lockdown law-breakers, is that apart from second-hand smoke (a lot less common since 2007), smokers are only putting themselves at risk.
You don’t need me to explain how contracting and passing on COVID-19 works. Suffice to say, the individuals who decide to break lockdown and go for a Sunday stroll with friends, may not develop any symptoms of the virus themselves. This isn’t to say that they will not play a major role in transmitting the killer bug to others, who have chosen to remain at home.
The BBC have reported that between Friday and Saturday, 813 patients died from the COVID-19 virus.
Just let that settle in for a moment…
- EIGHT HUNDRED and THIRTEEN people dead.
- EIGHT HUNDRED and THIRTEEN grieving families.
- EIGHT HUNDRED and THIRTEEN funerals.
- All in just TWENTY FOUR hours.
Only four weeks ago, 813 fatalities in a day, from a single virus, would be worldwide news and a national tragedy.
I don’t deny that people are still very concerned by the current pandemic and are aware of the vast numbers of victims who are dying as a result.
However, I am picking up vibes that the shock of mortality figures and even empathy towards the deceased, is diminishing.
This is very sad. A death from COVID-19 on Sunday 26th April, is just as tragic as one on Thursday 26th March. However, it doesn’t feel like the general population are as upset by it.
We are only human and it is in our nature to become psychologically immune to repetitive trauma. It would be difficult for even the most emphatic of individuals, to maintain the same level of grief day after day.
This is wrong. Very wrong. I am not blaming the British public – like I have already mentioned, it is natural to become immune to bad news.
We should be horrified. Why do so many continue to die? I know that vaccines are being developed, but even without a miracle cure, surely it is possible to reduce the number of deaths?
The government has extended the lockdown. Is this enough? We all know many people are breaking the rules. Should the authorities be doing more to enforce these regulations?
How are people contracting the virus? Surely it is possible to investigate this, with a view to increasing lockdown laws and punishing those who break them?
What concerns me, is that if anything, these rules are going to be relaxed. I would call that madness, but what do I know? It’s not like I’m important, like the US President…
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
