Twelve years ago yesterday, Bath City took on Sutton United in their penultimate game of the football season.
Sutton were rock bottom of the league and had already been relegated. City knew that by beating the sorry team from Surrey, they would go a long way into securing a place in the playoffs.
It was supposed to be so easy for the Bath players. Just do what they had done most Saturday afternoons since August. Play well and Sutton will be dead and buried by half time. Heck, they’ll be able to take it easy during the second half – saving their energy for those playoffs. After all, we’ll be beating Sutton at least 8-0 by that point.
Oh, if only football was that simple…
I’m sure you can guess what happened. Correct. Bath City lost to Sutton.
There is a purpose behind today’s blog post, and it isn’t just to recall one of the many frustrations I have experienced as a football fan over the years.
Returning back to 2008… on an evening where depressed Bath City supporters returned home to watch Skins, play Gears of War on the XBox 360 and listen to Rihanna, I had a date! A date with a young lady. A date with a young lady who was not made up!
Like me, this young lady had spent the afternoon watching her club, Bath City, do the most predictable thing a football club can do… be unpredictable – especially when it matters most.
I had been casually meeting this girl over the last five or six weeks; the two of us becoming more and more acquainted. Our meeting points would primarily be Bath City games. On a couple of occasions, we would visit The Dolphin pub and enjoy a drink, before crossing the river into BA2.
I was growing increasingly fond of this girl and suspected that she may like me too – not that I can claim to have ever understood women, especially in 2008. For all I knew, this unusual female attention could have all been one cruel joke – something I even asked this girl, when she first rang me to introduce herself some weeks earlier.
In fact, I half expected Jeremy Beadle to appear from the bushes, as soon as the call had ended. Luckily for me this wasn’t a wind-up, and the girl on the phone did not take offence to my disbelief that she was real.
I must have suffered from such low self-esteem! Imagine me thinking that I stood a greater chance of meeting Jeremy Beadle, than a nice girl actually liking me. This is especially depressing when you consider that Jezza had died three months earlier!
I wanted to ask this girl to be my girlfriend. The problem was, that as well as being more than aware that I was not Mr. Universe, I was also a scardy cat – a chicken – a bowl of cowardly custard. If I was going to pop the question, I was going to have to be poked very hard, with an exceptionally large, pointy stick.
Thankfully for me, the football calendar was more than adequate in taking on the role of a metaphorical piece of wood. With the match against Sutton being the final home game of the season, it would potentially be my last encounter with this girl for months.
Sometimes in life, fate can be a cruel beast. In this instance, it was anything but. Had the girl and I began socialising in November (still relatively early into the football season), I would have almost certainly put off any move (remember, I was a wimp). As this was April, I would have to pull my finger out of my arse – thankfully another metaphor.
A romantic date was therefore arranged by yours truly – a meal at a nearby riverside pub, The Boathouse.
We were taken from Bath City’s football ground to the romantic gastropub by horse-drawn carriage. OK, that last bit was a lie – I organised a pre-booked taxi.
It may not have been The Ritz and we certainly hadn’t arrived by chariot, but I must have done something right…
I cannot remember what we ate, but odds-on I would have ordered a chicken dish and a glass of cider. Whatever my date picked would almost certainly have contained goats cheese and been washed down with refreshing Diet Coke.
My proposal to this girl was more fumbled than flamboyant. “You know how I like you”, I nervously began. “… now you don’t have to, if you don’t want” goodness knows what she must have thought I was about to ask, or why she didn’t run all the way home. “how do you feel about being my girlfriend?”.
“WILL YOU DO ME THE HONOUR OF CHANGING YOUR FACEBOOK RELATIONSHIP STATUS FROM ‘SINGLE’?”
The girl said “yes”! No zombified Jeremy Beadle appeared from behind the bar. What’s more, is the girl even looked happy that I had asked.
To say that I was also happy would have been somewhat of an understatement. My new lady-friend and I walked back to my flat hand-in-hand.
I had made the same walk from the pub back to my then home many times before. On previous occasions, I had been with Simon, we didn’t hold hands and I would moan to myself at the length of the walk. Returning to my flat with my new girlfriend, went far too quickly. I knew that once we had reached Mr. Gill’s corner shop, we would be forced to bid each other farewell, for this was the spot where my girlfriend’s mum would pick her up.
My new girlfriend and I kissed. Probably badly and awkwardly – we were rather inexperienced. If you would like a better idea of our first kiss, or the date as a whole, watch any episode of The Undateables. The cringeworthy moments shown in the excellent television series, were prevalent throughout our evening.
RAY. THE MYTH, THE MAN, THE LEGEND.
So, did the relationship between the young woman and I last? Well, she is no longer my girlfriend. We would hold daily phone calls, many lasting for hours – these are now a thing of the past.
There is a good reason for this. The girlfriend in this story is called Claire. The reason why we are no longer girlfriend and boyfriend, is because we are now husband and wife, and we no longer have lengthy telephone conversations, as we live together in a home of our very own.
Proof that a lot can change over twelve years.
Bath City appear to be the exception to the rule, and continue to reside in the same league, where they were humiliated by Sutton all those years ago…
NOW MARRIED.
STILL BATH CITY FANS.
STILL VERY IN LOVE.
While Claire and I are very happy to have been in a relationship for twelve years, our official anniversary is now 20th June – the original date being superseded by our wedding. Therefore, while we always welcome gifts of money, holidays and the latest technology, it is probably best to wait until June.
When it comes to coronavirus, regardless of whether you are elderly or vulnerable, it is likely you will have heard that some supermarkets are providing additional online delivery slots for those considered ‘at risk’.
Well, they claim to be…
I have heard a lot about the great things supermarkets are promising for those in need. What I have not heard about is anyone who has benefited from these schemes.
As far as I am aware, Sainsbury’s and Waitrose are the two major supermarkets, claiming to be reaching out to the elderly and vulnerable, by creating additional delivery windows, exclusively for their use.
It is my understanding that these two supermarkets consult a government list, in order to determine if a customer is indeed at risk.
I registered myself for this list via a government website some weeks ago. My health conditions mean that I should have already been added – I wasn’t.
According to my GP, having previously suffered from respiratory failure does not put me at a greater risk of developing complications, should I contract COVID-19 – a virus know for causing severe breathing problems. He was in agreement with me, as to the absurdity of the list selection process.
Thankfully, my GP manually added me to the elusive list, effectively meaning that I should now be on there twice. Ha! Excuse the skepticism.
You would have thought that this would be enough for Johnny Sainsbury to realise that I was entitled to join Tiny Tim and Mr. Burns in the Poorly Persons club. Apparently not.
I haven’t seen anything on the websites of either supermarket, to suggest that this issue will be resolved any time soon.
In fact, Waitrose are advising those with similar concerns to me…
To allow us to cope with demand, we are kindly asking customers to wait for communication from us rather than trying to get in touch at this time.
Thanks for that.
Either the government are useless and not updating their ‘at risk’ list on a regular basis, or the supermarkets are useless and failing to check the list for new sickies. Let’s just say they’re both useless.
If I was the only one affected by this issue, I doubt that I would be bothering to blog about it. Sainsbury’s and Waitrose are not exactly the cheapest of places to buy your groceries, so we rarely shop with them anyway! Besides which, I can usually get a delivery slot for Tesco or Morrisons (albeit by staying up to midnight).
TALK ABOUT LATE NIGHT SHOPPING…
This isn’t really about me…
The reason for this blog post is because I haven’t learned of a single person to be offered one of these exclusive slots. Indeed, I’ve heard on the news and social media about many people far more vulnerable than me – with terminal illness or in their 90s and living alone – unable to organise a delivery. Worryingly, as these are the individuals who really need a priority slot.
I don’t know what else I can try to get the supermarkets to talk to me. Perhaps I need a password. Baa-ram-ew?
Claire and I have now both watched the concluding episode to the ITV drama, Quiz – based upon the infamous Who Wants to be a Millionaire? coughing scandal in 2001.
The two of us came to the same opinion. The defendant, Charles Ingram, received an unfair trial.
A major piece of evidence used by the prosecution, during the 2003 court case, involved a recording from the WWTBAM? studio, during Ingram’s time in the hot seat.
This footage shown in court was provided by the show’s creators, who had edited the recording themselves – something known by the police and jury. This revised evidence included the ‘coughs’ used by the prosecution in order to convict Ingram. What was not included in the edit, was the natural coughs from other members of the audience. These were cut out!
This revelation was only brought to the attention of Claire and me during the third and final episode.
I know that dramas based upon real-life stories are know to bend the truth, miss out key events and include some that never really happened. I would be very surprised if the writers of Quiz would have made up the part in involving ‘doctored footage’, especially given its significance in the jury reaching a guilty verdict. For this, I am both disgusted and amazed that this was deemed acceptable evidence.
For the purpose of my next point, I will assume that ITV and Celador did NOT provide edited evidence during the case, and what was shown during the drama was pure fiction.
In 2001, I was an avid fan of the show. I never missed an episode. I even owned and regularly played the PlayStation 2 video game based upon the quiz show – complete with a talking, animated Chris Tarrant.
Being a regular viewer of the series meant that I was naturally interested in the case. It was not an uncommon sight for stories about Ingram, his wife and accomplice to appear on the front page of newspapers – surprising, considering this was in the aftermath of the 9/11 terror attacks, as well as Bush and Blair plotting a mindless war with Iraq.
Considering the scandal was widely reported across so many news publications, television channels and websites, you would expect to see a variety of opinions expressed into whether or not Ingram was guilty.
From memory, I cannot recall seeing or hearing anything to suggest that the accused were anything but guilty as sin. Ingram was hung out to dry, by journalists and reporters, who had appointed themselves judge, jury and executioner.
I was adamant he had cheated, but why would I think differently? I only had the bias media to help me form a judgement.
In any other instance, had the events been as widely reported as in ‘Coughgate’, the case would have collapsed and not gone to court.
The other night, I watched the famous Martin Bashir documentary, which was shown after the court case conclusion in 2003. I remember watching this 17 years ago, but until this week, had not seen it since.
Granted, this documentary was only released after a verdict had been reached. In this country, we generally accept the decision of a jury, so maybe this was why nobody questioned why the feature was produced in a manner which put Ingram in a bad light. Indeed, nobody from accused side of the case featured in or was interviewed for the documentary.
Despite the ITV-created production (another example of bias reporting) being heavily in favour of the prosecution, hindsight has shown that many areas of the documentary should be taken with a pinch of salt.
To conclude, I am not saying that Ingram and his accomplices are innocent or guilty. To form such an opinion, I feel that I would have to see and hear all unedited evidence, from the prosecution and defence.
It is said that Charles Ingram is seeking a retrial. I hope that he gets this and it is carried out fairly…
If found guilty, let that be the end of the matter – hopefully he’ll admit that he cheated and explain why he lied for almost twenty years.
Should the original verdict be reversed and Ingram be cleared of the original charges, I hope that he receives every penny of any compensation he is entitled to.
Once the prize money has been returned, interest, legal costs, loss of earnings and damage to reputation paid, it could be a very expensive day for ITV and Celador.
On this desperately sad day for Leeds United, which saw the club lose another one of its legends, I noticed this superb cartoon on Twitter…
The late Norman Hunter (left), with Big Jack Charlton (centre) and Billy Bremner (right).
Credit to @billyjones791 for this excellent artwork.
It was incredibly sad to learn that Leeds United legend, Norman Hunter, has died from COVID-19.
Supporters were made aware that he was unwell in hospital last week, but we all hoped and prayed he would pull through.
RIP ‘Bites Your Legs’
1943 – 2020
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
