It looks like Bath’s Annual Flying Ant Day occurred yesterday.
My mum – now infamous for renting her home and ear canal out to spiders – sent me this photo…
This is her backdoor. As you can see, it contains a hediously large ants’ nest.
Unsurprisingly, many of the horrid things took it upon themselves to abandon their home and enter her house!
You could say that by making this move, the ants had literally flown the nest, where they had once been forced to work 24/7, in conditions comparable* to that of a Sports Direct warehouse.
Admittedly, an ant’s boss is only a cannibalistic Queen, constantly having sex with her workers and crapping out eggs**. Sports Direct employees have Mike Ashley to answer to.
* LEGAL (well, to stop me getting sued):
“comparable” by the fact that I am sure if you were to compare a Sports Direct warehouse to an ants’ nest, no similarities would be found.
Although what do I know? An independent investigation into the number of similarities between the two places of work, is most likely yet to be carried out.
** that fascinating fact about the role of the Queen ant, was definitely not taken word-for-word from David Attenborough’s latest book.
Anyway, getting back to the stray ants entering my mother’s home…
Her house poses several risks, including being stepped on by a massive shoe, or one of the resident spiders eating you alive… and they’re just the dangers to humans!
On a serious note, I have warned my mum that having a large ant colony beneath your house is not good news, especially if they have started to enter the property.
Hopefully pest control can offer a solution, otherwise her pet spiders will have a big job on their hands – or should that be legs?
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So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
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