Last night Simon came round to watch Match of the Day. We decided to visit the off licence to buy a drink to enjoy while watching the football.
While waiting to pay for my drink, I noticed a very elderly lady in front of me in the queue. She was chatting to the poor shop assistant who can’t have been more than 12 (well, that’s how old he looked anyway).
This conversation lasted over five minutes. When she was finally persuaded to leave, she stumbled out the shop door, drunk, and returned home.
The shop assistant told me that she comes in every evening, without fail, and always buys a packet of 20 cigarettes and 2 cans of Special Brew – the drink drunk by tramps.
This woman was at least 80 years of age. It just goes to show that fruit, vegetables and exercise are not the key to a long life… the answer – a diet consisting of highly alcoholic lager and plenty of cigarettes.
On the other hand, this woman may look like she is 80 years old, but due to her poor lifestyle, is probably just 28.
A picture of health
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