This is James Bond. He likes to spend money, shoot bad guys and jump from bed to bed with different women. He is suave, sophisticated and good looking. Most importantly, he is NOT REAL.

This is John Terry. Like many professional football players, he shares a lot of James Bond’s interests – although I don’t think shooting baddies is on his list of hobbies.

Terry does, according to media reports, like to bed various other women, including partners of his friends (‘allegedly’, as we keep being told by the press). The difference between John Terry and Mr. Bond, however, is Terry is an embarrassing, unlikeable ugly bloke. Most importantly, he IS REAL.

It isn’t just John Terry at fault. Even people living in the deepest, darkest caves on the moon will have heard about the behaviour of Terry’s Chelsea teammate, Ashley Cole. It is a sad state of affairs, especially as these Chelsea chavs are not the only players behaving in a disgusting manner. For every Ca$hley Cole, there are many others.

The incidents in recent weeks, including the events at Chelsea’s home game yesterday, really do emphasis the fact that football players are not living in the real world and need to enter it as soon as possible.

Some may argue that what goes on off the pitch should remain private. However, when you’re a top-flight football player who makes millions of pounds from your occupation, you will attract off the field interest, and must show a high standard of professionalism.

Moving on from the players and back to everyone’s favourite fictional MI6 agent… James Bond also likes to gamble. The fact 007 nearly always wins when he visits casino’s is irrelevant – yet again, he is NOT REAL.

However, in this crazy world of football, there are chairmen of clubs who gamble hundreds of millions of pounds on success. On Friday, Portsmouth FC became the first top-flight club to fall into administration. Never mind, they’ll be ok – their debts are now gone, and despite being relegated, they’ll stand an excellent chance of winning The Championship next season.

What about all the local businesses who are owed money from Portsmouth FC? The money they will lose could see them go bust. No reprieve or administration for Mr. Smith who supplies the club’s pies. He’ll be forced to join the dole queue.

The world of football as a whole needs to take a long, hard look at itself. The chairmen, managers and players have been living in this fantasy, James Bond-style world for too long. It is all coming to a head now and the fans are getting fed up. If something doesn’t change soon, the beautiful game could go the way of 007’s arch enemy, Blofeld – down the chimney.