One of the most annoying things in life, along with stubbing your toe on a door frame and receiving a telephone call from a bloke in strange far away land trying to sell you a mobile phone, is getting home from a hard days work to find the courier has attempted to deliver a parcel while you were out. Worse still, the courier does not work weekends and has just one collection depot, based in Outer Mongolia. These really are the things which cause people to go on killing sprees.
Luckily I did not fall victim to any of these frustrations today… but only just! No, I didn’t narrowly avoid a nasty looking door frame; nor did I just miss a call from a Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon trying to sell me double glazing. The stroke of good luck came when I returned home from work to see a man dressed in a UPS uniform walking away from my flat carrying a large box. At speeds which Theo Walcott and Usain Bolt could only dream of, I raced along Newbridge Road and caught up with the chap – seconds before he loaded my precious parcel onto his van and drove away – no doubt leaving me to sit in the middle of the road, crying and shouting very loudly.
Yes, I managed to catch the lovely man from UPS, sign for my parcel and return to my flat. Had I not done so, given the fact weekend deliveries are a non-occurrence in the courier-world, I would almost certanly have lost the package forever.
“What was in this package?” I hear you all ask… 8 boxes of coffee pods – the new Americano flavour for my wonderful coffee machine. As part of some promotion to launch the new product, they were being sold for half price. Given the fact I had many reward tokens for buying so many packets of Nestlé coffee in the past, this purchase was almost free. To say I was very pleased, was somewhat of an understatement… but not too much of one – let’s not get carried away here, it’s only coffee.
Lots of coffee
I bought one of these yesterday…
No, it’s not a robot from Star Wars, it is Nestle Dolce Gusto drinks machine. Using pods, it makes coffee, cappuccino, espresso, hot chocolate, etc. More of less the closest thing you’ll get to Starbucks at home.
It’s really nice. The only problem is after tasting good coffee, I’ll never be able to drink this stuff at work again…
Yesterday and today I went into town, my first venture into the city centre post-Christmas. I had received a few vouchers for Christmas and was keen to spend them in what was left of the January Sales.
A summary of what was purchased:
NEXT
Various T-Shirts going cheap in the sales. You can’t really go wrong with tees, unless they’re some obscure colour, have some strange logo plastered all over them or belong to Manchester United FC. I also bought a light grey hoodie. Although it wasn’t in the sale, I thought it was worthy of the £25 price tag. I had £5 left on my gift card, so bought a box of poker chips – totally random, but may come in useful.
WHITTARDS
For those not in the know, Whittards make fancy teas and coffees. Having been inspired by what my sister bought my aunt, I purchased a gift box of coffees from around the world. As they were half price, I bought two.
HMV
I had a HMV voucher to spend and no idea what to buy. I decided upon Fifa 07 for the Xbox 360. I already have this game on the PlayStation 2, but the 360 version boats superior graphics and online play.
WHSMITHS
A packet of playing cards for £1.99. Can be used with poker chips from Next.
Yesterday evening I discovered
1) The hoodie was too big. If I had wanted a big, baggy skaterboarders hoodie, I would have gone to a chav shop
2) Fifa 07 skipped on my Xbox. I also couldn’t get online to play on Xbox Live.
3) Worldwide coffee tastes of shit. Well the Jamaican coffee I tried does
Therefore
1) I returned to Next TODAY and swapped the hoodie for a smaller size
2) I also returned to HMV and swapped Fifa 07 for a working copy. I still cannot play it online.
3) I will not drink Jamaican coffee again
While in town today, not only did I return half of what I bought yesterday, I also made some other purchases…
– A stupid amount of DVDs from the HMV sale
– Bath’s very own version of Monopoly. Expect a full review after I play it soon.
– Some ornaments for my bedroom to surround the fish tank (a wooden lizard and fish)
– A slice of pizza from the pasty shop. The pizza was more like a deep fried slab of cheese – not nice. It ended up in the bin
Sunday morning. Quiet, peaceful, serene. Dan and I are drinking coffee from my new coffee maker. Only the slight hum of a fish tank and the tapping of my laptop keys as I blog can be heard.
It has been busier and noisier in previous days. Only the previous morning, an attempt to make coffee ended in disaster. Firstly, my bedroom fridge which stores milk, fruit, Coca Cola and (to Simon and Dan’s disapproval), cans of lager beer, decided it would be funny to piss itself all over my carpet. Either that or it became defrosted due to being unplugged. An accident, possibly on my part.
That same morning, my new coffee machine decided it would try to commit suicide by blowing itself up. It failed, although scorching hot, black coffee did end up streaming down my fridge (which the coffee machine as resting on) and onto the carpet – just like a black waterfall of molten lava.
In my attempt stop the emergency, I became very badly burnt. Dan became very angry due to the fact his coffee was delayed. I did suggest he suck the coffee from the shag of my sodden carpet and clothes, but he declined – fussy bastard.
Yesterday afternoon was also eventful. Mr. White, everyone’s favourite village drunkard, came to see Dan and myself. He was rather perturbed to see us playing various retro videogames, but after being threatened with various weapons I had lying around, he agreed to complete the whole of Lemmings for our enjoyment. If you are interested in seeing the various torture methods used on Mr. White, check out Dan’s blog. Maybe you too know a drunkard that you can use these methods on.
Everything comes at a cost though. Mr. White always wants more. He comes to my flat, eats my food, drinks my drink, shits in my toilet and this time… get this… he wanted to use MY electricity to charge his mobile phone! I don’t think that it would be too harsh to call him a cheeky cunt.
Reluctantly, I agreed to let Mr. White use my electricity to charge his mobile telephone, although warned him that should the charger be left behind, as it has on previous occasions, it will be donated to Oxfam.
Well Mr. White, after you left, I found your charger. If you want it back, I suggest taking a trip to the Bath branch of Oxfam. I believe they are only selling it for £1.50.
Dan and I did inform Mr. White of this, by leaving him a message on MSN. He ignored it and only took notice at 1am, on his return from a typical nights boozing. Upon logging into my MSN this morning, I was greeted my the following note:
Jono sent 19/11/2006 01:06:
what pics ? and wtf oxfam ?>
Jono sent 19/11/2006 01:09:
ive left my charger at yours again ?
Bless him. He sounds very confused. That’s what 10 pints of Stella does to you kids.
If incidentally, anybody else is reading this blog and needs a new mobile phone charger, the offer is not exclusively available to Mr. White, so why not pay Oxfam a visit and buy it before he does.
Yesterday was the first official day of my week off work, and for the morning, I didn’t do anything of a constructive nature. I got up at 9ish, watched a little bit of television, played some music, surfed the internet for a while and had a late breakfast consisting of coffee, fruit and cheese & onion flavored Hula Hoops.
I met Simon in town in the afternoon. We went to the Subway sandwich shop for a bit of lunch. I had never been to a Subway until yesterday, although I understand from all the hype that they are rather tasty.
I was greeted by a member of staff who was very polite and even called me “Sir”. The last time somebody called me that was when they added “you’re making a scene”. They then offered me a wide range of fillings which could be used to construct the ultimate sandwich. Meats, cheeses, vegetables and sauces were all thrown in. I got a little carried away and when I was asked to pay almost £5 for my “light lunch”, I realised why they were so keen to add all those fillings.
After eating our sandwiches and a visit to a coffee house, we looked around various clothes shops, looking for warmer, winter garments. I had the idea that a hoodie would keep me warm, although to avoid being labeled “chav”, was keen to get a hoodie without a hood.
I looked in a variety of different shops, including Route One and Just Add Water. They all reminded me of skater dude, biker and pisshead clothing. I did have a laugh at the T-Shirts displaying messages of “I’ve Got Fucking Torrets” and “I Love Your Mum”. All very good, but I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing such items.
In the end, I found a “hooded” fleece in Gap which looked good. I haven’t purchased it yet, but on my return visit to town on Thursday, I will probably buy it.
On the way home I stopped at Argos. I originally intended to buy an electric fire and coffee machine. The electrical fire was out of stock, but will be available on Thursday (hopefully there won’t be an ice age before then). I bought the coffee machine and an electric water cooler/dispenser.
After making my purchases, Simon came back to my flat to watch the latest episode of Family Guy. He was also a help in carrying home the rather large cardboard box which housed the coffee machine.
Today was spent playing with my two new toys. The water cooler is, well… very cool. The coffee machine is excellent. It makes a fabulous cappuccino and although it takes a while to setup and clean, it tastes so good that you wouldn’t question the quality, had you been served it up in Starbucks. When Dan comes to Bath later in the week, I am sure he will be making much use of that particular gadget.
I’m off out shortly to watch a fabulous game of football between Bath City and Cirencester – the Chelsea of The Southern Premier Division.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
