If you’re confused about wearing a face-covering while popping into Tesco…
Take advice from the nice man with the tie. He may save your life.
Do not listen to Shell Suit Shane from the bookies. He bet five-grand that Arsenal would win the Premier League.
As you will probably already be aware, the government announced earlier this week that from 24 July, face coverings will become mandatory when visiting shops in England.
Great news. Although, why has it taken the authorities such a lengthy time to introduce this law? How many lives could have been saved if this regulation had been made in May or June?
Indeed, Scotland and many of the other major European countries have had this law since mid-May! I find it no coincidence that on Wednesday, Scotland marked a significant milestone by not registering a single COVID-19 related death for seven days.
The news of compulsory face coverings in England was met with the predictable backlash from a vocal minority, refusing to wear any form of PPE.
Claire and I recently watched an episode of The Three Day Nanny. A recurring theme throughout this series involves a stroppy toddler, refusing to do anything asked of them by their exhausted mum and dad. The reason behind the child’s behaviour is often revealed to be an act of defiance, against one or both parents, meaning that whatever the toddler is told to do, they would refuse.
It certainly feels like many of the adults refusing to wear face coverings are doing so because they don’t like being told to do by those in authority. Sound familiar?
By wearing a face covering, you are not showing support for Boris Johnson and his colleagues. You would struggle to find anyone who dislikes the Conservative Party more than me. Just because I intend to wear PPE when I eventually leave the house, and continue to follow the laws surrounding COVID-19, it doesn’t mean I will be changing my alligence and voting for the Tories in the next election.
The use of face coverings save lives. Simple as that. It shouldn’t matter if The Conservatives, Labour, or Monster Raving Loony Party are asking us to use them. Just do it.
I didn’t really want to go down this route, but if just one person decides to wear PPE because of what I post on here, resulting in one less person contracting the deadly virus, it’ll be the most important thing I have ever written on my blog…
If you won’t wear face covering for Boris, yourself, your family, friends, or the general public, please do so for people like me.
I am classified by the government as “extremely vulnerable”. This means that if I was to catch COVID-19, there is a high chance of me developing serious complications, or even dying.
Roughly two million individuals in the UK are considered vulnerable. The population of the country is 66 million. This means that potentially one in 33 people you encounter in a supermarket are at significant risk.
Two years ago, I was admitted into Intensive Care. I came very close to death. Obviously this was unrelated to coronavirus, but the respiratory problems I suffered could easily have been as a result of the virus.
By not wearing face covering, because it is uncomfortable, doesn’t look fashionable, or just because you don’t want to, you are putting over 2,000,000 people at risk of this…
PLEASE WEAR FACE COVERING.
DON’T FORCE ME TO WEAR A VENTILATOR.
It’s good to see that everyone who enjoyed the reopening of the pubs managed to maintain social distancing…
What could possibly go wrong?
By the time you read this, you will be able to once again drink in pubs, thanks to the government easing lockdown laws.
This is assuming that you live in England. If you are a citizen of Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland, be grateful for your tougher guidelines, fewer coronavirus deaths and free prescriptions.
I’VE BEEN AWAY FROM THIS BEAUTY-SPOT FOR TOO LONG!
Was this a good move for England? You tell me. Look out of your window. Can you see hoards of lager-filled yobs rampaging the streets, shouting “White lives matter”, in between songs about Millwall Football Club?
If the answer is ‘no’, the change will probably spell a much needed return to normality. Considering how much tax is applied to alcohol, coupled with the amount of booze the English are capable of putting away while on a bender, the economy will be back on track before you can say “stomach pump”.
Should the view from your window be an accurate reflection of my vision of mob law, don’t worry too much. You’ve probably just woken up in Billericay – the rest of the country is doing fine.
A lot has been made about the fact pubs were only be allowed to open at 6am and not 00:01. The government were apparently concerned by the potential for parties and overindulgence, should social drinking restart at midnight…
Have they never wandered into a Wetherspoons for an early-morning coffee or breakfast? The place is overrun with winos, alcoholics and pensioners – off their tits on house red, Zukovsky Vodka and the ale of the week (which I hear is currently Boris’ Barnet). If people are going to get pissed, they’re going to get pissed.
Incidentally, I cannot claim to have entered a public house before midday. Not only do I love my bed too much to get up until at least half the morning has gone, but I prefer to do my binge drinking from a brown paper bag, while sat on a park bench next to a mangy stray dog. Therefore my claims about the Wetherspoons clientele is based on reputation – although there is no smoke without fire.
Thursday.
Convince everyone at work that you’re feeling like crap.
Tell them that you’ll bravely “battle on”.
Phone in sick Friday.
Three day weekend.
No questions asked.
Result!
Considering Mr. Sharma has tested negative for coronavirus, I feel that I can safely publish this blog post, without fear of things horribly backfiring.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
