… when you find yourself agreeing with Piers Morgan and The Daily Mail!

When I blogged yesterday about Dominic Cummings’ little misdemeanor, I was like many people in the fact I felt rather annoyed.

Today any irritation I had towards the Prime Minister’s aide has been replaced with amusement.

“TO ME, TO YOU…”

Since the original story broke, yet more related events have unfolded… No.10 contradicting police reports, multiple sightings of Dom exploring Durham. Classic British comedy!

The bloke is either really important to Boris, or he has some pretty juicy gossip on him (saucy photos, perhaps?), because BoJo is doing everything possible to protect his mate.

Reading the news and social media is like some hilarious sitcom. In a time where the country is pretty much in the doo-doo, this relief is very welcome. I’m looking forward to what unfortunate mishap ‘Bo and Dom’ encounter next!

“THAT’S ANOTHER FINE MESS YOU’VE GOT ME INTO!”

I have been using my blog a lot in recent weeks to promote social distancing and complain about the stupid, selfish individuals who cannot seem to abide by the basic, life saving laws.

Unsurprisingly it has been members of the public who are responsible for putting themselves and others in danger.

People carrying out their profession or providing a service have thankfully shown caution, kindly keeping their distance, as well as doing their upmost to protect themselves and those around them.

Unfortunately, we have experienced an exception to this rule. On two occasions, Claire and I have been left feeling annoyed and even a little concerned by one courier company – UPS – and their approach to social distancing… or lack of.

ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF SOCIAL DISTANCING IN GREENDALE.

The first instance involved a delivery we were expecting from Amazon. The internet giant generally use their own couriers, who to Amazon’s credit have been excellent since the pandemic became serious. The parcel will be left outside the house, before the delivery driver rings the bell and makes a hasty retreat, so as not to share the same airspace as the customer.

On one recent occasion, for whatever reason, Amazon used UPS to deliver an ink cartridge. Claire was as shocked as I was appalled when, upon answering the front door, the courier was stood at the very top of my wheelchair ramp. Had he positioned himself any closer, the guy would have been stood in our porch. Thankfully, Claire being quick-thinking, took a step back from the open door, before taking the package and sending the chap on his way.

JACK TORRANCE. ANOTHER ONE TO IGNORE THE DANGERS OF SPREADING COVID19.

The latest run-in with UPS was thankfully a near-miss. Claire and I heard our next door neighbour’s door being knocked. Initially thinking it was our front door, Claire looked out of an upstairs window. She noticed it was UPS. Neither of us gave this any further thought, until our own door was knocked – this time loud and clear.

Through our frosted glass, Claire was able to recognise the UPS uniform, being worn by someone stood as close to our house as the previous courier. Given how we are both self-isolating, our door was unanswered.

A couple more minutes passed and Claire heard talking in the street. With the UPS delivery van still parked outside, it appeared the driver was still at large and trying to offload whatever package Claire and I narrowly avoided being lumbered with.

My wife was able to hear somebody (we can only assume the courier) asking a resident to accept delivery of a parcel. We have no idea whether or not this was the intended recipient. The most worrying line Claire overheard was “I cannot make this delivery without a signature”.

I NEED ONE OF THESE SIGNS!

Whether the driver was talking to the original customer or not, this is bad. How can you maintain a safe two metre distance, while asking for a recipient’s signature? Even more worrying, what are UPS expecting the customer to sign? Whether it is a piece of paper on a clipboard, or some kind of PDA, the threat of contamination would certainly worry me.

I would be very interested to learn whether or not this is standard practice for UPS UK, or was it just two unfortunate events in our little cul-de-sac? Perhaps it was simply the same driver on both occasions, who was not following guidance.

I will be kind, give UPS the benefit of the doubt and blame the driver – after all, you know what they say about one bad apple spoiling a bunch.

Hopefully UPS will continue to deliver just parcels – not parcels and a dose of Covid19.

I wish that I had of thought of this one when I was at school… “But, Sir! I did my homework last week… it was on the 30th of February.”

Van-Tam: “Matthew, help! I think that I may have told everyone the wrong date. Do you think anyone would have noticed?”

Hancock: “No, of course not… not if they were watching the other side.”