My time this past week has mainly been spent watching football. Lots and lots of football. I am loving the Euro 2016 tournament and there have only been a few games that I have missed, and this was because I was working while they were on.

Here are my thoughts on the tournament so far. These ramblings only cover England. I will try to blog my other thoughts on the tournament over the next few days…

I watched the Russia game, safely segregated from my meerkats. This match can be summed up in one word. FRUSTRATING! Russia are a poor team, but England struggled to break them down and had to rely upon a free kick from a defender, Eric Dier, to score. Despite the frustrations, I was encouraged by the team’s spirit and work ethic. What I was not encouraged by, is the team being typical England and throwing it all away in the final minute. That’s right, Russia scored with a good, but flukey goal, right at the end. I was so annoyed that night. My annoyance lasted into the following day too, and even into the start of the next week.

The build up to England’s second game against Wales, was huge, massive and enormous – as big as Steve Evans’ underpants, before he lost all the weight. Gareth Bale – the Welsh star player was piping up all week, claiming how Wales had more pride and passion, and how not one England player could get into their team. Go home, Gareth – you’re drunk!

I must admit, I was a little nervous before the game. Not because I think Wales are better than England – they’re not. I was worried because England are England, and have traditionally bottled everything during a major tournament. We haven’t won a knockout game in 10 years, and even that was against Ecuador, who are most famous for sharing their name with a popular dance track from the 1990s. Ten years. TEN YEARS! Just let that settle in for a minute…

Like in the Russia game, England started well. Raheem Sterling missed an absolute sitter. How he is worth £40,000,000, I have no idea. To spice things up and increase the ‘banter’, the BBC stuck proud Welshman, Robbie Savage, on commentary duties. Savage was a crap and annoying football player. He is an equally crap and annoying football commentator.

Wales were OK, but were generally happy to defend, defend, defend. That was, until Wayne Rooney stupidly gave away a needless free kick. To his credit, Rooney has played really well for England during this tournament, but it was still a very silly foul to concede. The predictable shit storm, that always follows England, then erupted. Pissing diarrhoea rained down on every proud Englishman. That’s right, Garteh Bale scored. It was a great goal, and well done to him and Wales, but the England goalkeeper, Joe Hart, should have done a lot better.

Going into the half time break, 1-0 down, things looked bad. The Welsh mocked us, with songs of “England’s going home”. England manager, Roy Hodgson, then performed a miracle (something his critics say he should have done all along), and brought on two of our most attacking players – Jamie Vardy and Daniel Sturridge.

Wales continued to defend and Savage became more and more nervous (and annoying). Midway through the second half, England’s resiliance pays off and Vardy scores. 1-1. Get in. Game on! Wales seemed happy with their draw, and continued with their tactics of ‘parking the bus’. Given the fact they had won their opening game and England had only drawn theirs, a draw against England would be a fantastic result for Wales. Then, something magical happened. In the final minute of the game, Roy’s second substitute, Daniel Sturridge, ran through the Welsh defence and SOMEHOW scored. The stadium erupted, Claire and I (watching on TV) started screaming, there were players and coaches on top of each other – it was mental.

The game ended 2-1. England are top of the group and in with an amazing chance of reaching the second round. It also gives two fingers to both of Garth Bale’s bizarre claims that England have no team spirit and that Wales have better players than us. Think before you speak, Gareth. Chat shit – get banged.

As for Roy Hodgson – he has taken a lot of stick recently. Some of it has been justified. He was criticised for not seeing the game out against Russia, and allowing them to equalise. If he is blamed when things go wrong, surely he should be credited with England’s success. Along with the players, Roy helped us turn the game around yesterday and beat Wales. Well done, Roy! Well done.

Why did nobody tell me until yesterday that England’s game against Wales in Euro 2016 was being held on a Thursday at 2pm? This means that I will be in work for the entire match!

I have since requested the afternoon off. No doubt, half the people in England and Wales will do the same. The streets will be deserted, apart from tumbleweed in England and stray sheep in Wales.

If you want to commit a crime – say driving your sports car down the dual carriageway at 150mph – this will be the perfect time, as nobody will be around to catch you… seriously, please don’t break the speed limit, as I’d hate to be responsible for any accidents.

Work will probably be quiet that afternoon, unless everyone decides to stream the game from the BBC website and bring the entire network, which is entirely possible.

I can’t wait for the game. The anticipation; the excitement; the traditional let down when England lose 1-0 to a Gareth Bale free kick.

So the 50 year old question, relating to the 1966 World Cup Final between England and West Germany has finally been answered. According to the super computer, used by Sky Sports, Geoff Hurst’s goal did, indeed, cross the line. Never in doubt.

Last night, the England flag in the front window got taken down. Exactly 8 days after I put it up. I could have binned the flag or used it as some kind of cleaning cloth, but instead decided to put it into a cupboard, for it to gather dust and make a return in two years for the European Championships.

Hopefully when the team return to England, following their ‘Carry on Brazil’ tour, certain players will also be shoved in a cupboard, namely Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney. Unlike the flag, I hope they don’t come back out. That may sound a tad harsh on old Stevie G, but that’s exactly it, he’s old. He’s done well in the past, but now it’s time to retire. Thank you, but goodbye. As for ‘Wazza’, he hasn’t impressed me in a major tournament since Euro 2004, an entire decade ago.

Despite a predictably calamitous World Cup, I do hold optimism for England. They have a lot of promising, young players; who, although losing both of the opening games, appear to be doing something rare for an England side – work together. Yes, team spirit is high in the camp. So much so that when they scored against Italy, they all piled upon their physio, breaking his bones. You couldn’t make it up. Well, maybe the script writers for the new Mike Bassett movie could.

Anyway, despite the vast majority of people I heard on the increasingly annoying BBC Five Live 606 phone-in, along with half of Twitter, calling for Roy Hodgson to go, I am behind the England manager. Replacing him with the likes of that wheeler-dealer Harry Redknapp will achieve nothing. In fact, it will set England back years. Roy is slowly, but surely building a good team, who I predict will do well in Euro 2016 and the next World Cup. If the team fails to do so, I will admit that his doubters were correct and kiss Redknapp’s saggy face. OK, not the last bit, but I will say I was wrong. HOWEVER, if Roy and the boys live up to what I believe they are capable of, I expect you all to apologise. And grovel. And beg for forgiveness.