Humans are stupid. Well not all of them. There are exceptions. For example, I’m not stupid and neither are you for reading my blog.

Believe it or not, this isn’t a rant about the Tory Cabinet or the selfish cretins who are still to grasp the concept of ‘lockdown’ – although those two sets of individuals, especially the latter, are exceptionally moronic.

This is a blog about the low intelligence demonstrated by your typical human being. I have two videos to illustrate my point…

Firstly, this clip taken from somebody’s dashcam as he or she drove down a high street in Sutton, Surrey.

Take note of the queue of traffic in the left-hand lane. With so many cars patiently queuing, surely something special was waiting at the end of the line…

Were the government dishing out free COVID-19 testing kits? Perhaps all the drivers were Catholic, and the Pope had come to bless all his followers during the pandemic. Had Katie Hopkins finally been brought to justice for her racist slurs and was in the stocks having rotten fruit thrown at her?

All of these scenarios would certainly justify the throngs of residents. There hadn’t been this much excitement since HMRC threatened to investigate tax evasion in the SM postal code.

See for yourself what all the fuss was about…

Was it really that long ago when the fast food chain temporarily closed its doors and turned off the deep fat fryers? Clearly it was long enough to cause people to enter a state of elation over the thought of a Filet-O-Fish.

The video is like watching scores of crack addicts dashing to see Trev the local drug dealer, after hearing rumours of a shipment of goodies from Morocco.

Had this clip been from a town in Texas, many of us Brits would be mocking the “stupid, fat yanks”, claiming that they “cannot live without their burgers, fries and sugary drinks”, while coming to the conclusion that “this is why they’re all morbidly obese!”. Maybe it’s time we look closer to home

My second video concerns the intelligence of the human brain compared to one belonging to a bird. NOTE: The above photo relates to the first video, despite being relevant to the previous sentence.

As everyone will know, the country has a problem with rubbish. While most of us are well-trained at recycling and disposing of our waste in the correct manner, you will no doubt have noticed that there are many individuals – known as ‘litter bugs’ – incapable of following the most basic of waste-management tasks. If this is not something that you have observed, you must be one of those litter bugs!

My wife and I do our upmost to recycle wherever possible. As you may remember, I have a neighbour who does not.

It isn’t difficult to put cans into one box, glass into another. Just don’t forget that there is the section for plastic – but never black plastic! The men who take away your recycling will curse you rotten for putting black plastic alongside the milk bottles and yoghurts.

See – even a bird can do it, which is why, when it comes to BIRD BRAIN vs LITTER BUG BRAIN, the bird wins hands (or wings) down!