I started this personal blog/website 16 years ago. In fact, my first post was exactly six days before Leeds United were relegated from the Premiership on 2 May 2004.

Just over 16 years later, and Leeds have finally been promoted again to the top-flight of English football – the land of milk and honey.

You may have thought that during all of that time blogging and waiting for Leeds to get back to where they belong, I would have come up with an incredible post to celebrate my team’s achievement. A literary masterpiece, that would be published and republished on an international scale. Retired football players would coo over my words, while members of the current Leeds squad send their love and appreciation for my kind words about them.

I am not ashamed to admit that I have not prepared any such blog post. There are two main reasons for this…

• I am superstitious, so by writing a post congratulating Leeds on promotion, before they had finished the job would be just asking for trouble!
• Given the importance of my club’s achievement, I thought it best to express my feelings onto my blog once the goal had been met.

The trouble is, that now Leeds have done what I have been waiting 5,920 days for them to do, I don’t know how to feel. It is if this is not real.

I am sure over the weekend, reality and joy will kick in and I’ll end up annoying any readers I have left with below-par Leeds content and rubbish attempts at humour.

Enjoy the quiet while it lasts…

Well that was fucking horrible.

Yes, Leeds won, but they made such hard work of the job in hand – beating the team who was bottom of the league.

Leeds couldn’t even score! The only way in which they managed to win 1-0, was by relying upon a Barnsley player comically scoring an own goal.

I squeaked, shook, screeched and shuffled myself through the entire match, waiting for Barnsley to inevitably score and equalise.

I assume that our neighbours must have been out. Had they heard my inhuman sounds, they would have surely called the police, or possibly even the RSPCA.

Roman looked rather bemused by the entire thing, while Claire just continued to watch the unfolding disaster on TV. Presumably she was all too familiar with her hubby’s wacky ways.

The match eventually finished. Leeds had won 1-0. Instead of relief, I felt numb. I should really have gone for a lie down in a dark room…

After yesterday’s game between Brentford and Preston, I have come to the conclusion that Leeds are going to have to take care of their own business.

Clearly Brentford have turned into Barcelona during lockdown and no team they face can be relied upon to take points from them.

Sir Alex Ferguson referred to this stage of the season as “squeaky bum time”. While I find the club he once managed abhorrent, I cannot deny that this famous phrase is a fantastically accurate description of how thousands of fans are feeling right now.

Admittedly, thanks to Leeds, my stress levels have resulted in more extreme symptoms than simply a bottom that squeaks. How about “screeching arse time”?

Following Leeds’ fantastic victory on Sunday, it felt as if we had already been promoted.

I really hope that this isn’t a factor in the players’ approach to today’s match. I have a bad feeling about it. A very bad feeling. Mind you, I’ve had this feeling before every game recently…

QUESTION: Why is nothing ever straightforward when it comes to Leeds United?

ANSWER: Because they’re Leeds United.

I know exactly what you’re thinking right now… “those Christmas cracker jokes are getting worse every year!”.

If only it was a joke.

With Leeds having just three vital games of football remaining, it is absolutely typical of the club’s fortunes that one of their best players – Kalvin Phillips – will miss the remaining matches through injury.

Bollocks.

There is no way of hiding from the fact that Kalvin will be missed. A hospital operating theatre would struggle without a surgeon, as would an aeroplane with no pilot.

OK, I may be going a little over the top with those examples. The remaining players will cope and I see no reason why they won’t get the job done. Famous last words…

My greatest concern with the remaining games involves the goalkeeper…

You may recall my blog post from a few months back concerning the Leeds keeper, Kiko Casilla and his ban for racism. I made my thoughts on this matter perfectly clear in March.

Kiko’s ban lasted for eight matches. During this period, a young keeper by the name of Illan Meslier, filled the boots (or gloves) of Leeds’ once regular shot-stopper.

Meslier has done a fantastic job. If ever a player demonstrated they are capable of retaining their place in the team, he has done just that.

I worry switching such an important and influential figure now could potentially spell disaster.

Even more concerning is the racism cloud, which will now forever follow Kiko while he remains at Leeds.

When the ban was issued in March, George Floyd had not been tragically killed. The fantastic Black Lives Matter movement was therefore yet to explode across the globe.

Feelings against racists are incredibly raw at the moment. Reinstating a player found guilty of racism would be as much a P.R. disaster, as it would be contemptible.

I hope and pray that for the sake of Leeds United’s season – and therefore potentially future – as well as morality, that Kiko stays well away from match days.