As I didn’t blog yesterday, I am making amends, by blogging twice today. You’ve already had my post on the joys of online shopping. My second entry is about animals in the news.
There have been two recent stories, involving wildlife in my local newspaper, The Bath Chronicle. The first should really be one of my worst fears, but I just found it a bit weird. A woman claims that she bought a bunch of bananas from the supermarket, only to find it contained a nest of baby spiders. When she rang up to complain, she was asked “What would you like me to do about it?”
I don’t know what such an experience would have on me. At best, I would be a little peeved and would write a blog about my annoyance. At worst, I would burn the house down in fear. In reality, considering mother spider did not seem to be present, I think it would be somewhere in between the two.
My favourite line from the whole story was from the upset woman “In the meantime, I’ve got spiders crawling all over the house. Well, not all over the house, but they crawled out of the cocoon and onto the cake stand and I don’t know where else they might have crawled.”
Me thinks someone was after compensation and was disappointed when she didn’t get a £40 Sainsbury’s Gift Card. I’m hardly one to criticise her – especially after everything I’ve scabbed from Amazon and Tesco over the years, after their crap service.
The second story in my local rag involved a woman feeding seagulls, inadvertently recreating a scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, while causing furious outrage amongst Batholians. As if the locals haven’t had enough to put up with, what with the council changing the bin collection to once a fortnight!
Like with the banana spider babies, the seagull story had some amazing quotes…
“She had carrier bags full of crusts!”
CRUSTS! Not CRUSTS! When will this madness end? Will someone please think of the children?
“Hundreds of birds gathered”
Somebody call the police!
“This madness must stop, especially in the lead-up to the nesting season.”
Forget that! GET THE SODDING ARMY OUT!
The final animal story involves lions. Unsurprisingly, this wasn’t in the Bath Chronicle, as lions don’t live in Bath. I was pleased to read a heart-warming story of a poacher being killed and eaten by a pride of lions, in Africa.
I’m not somebody to wish death upon a fellow human, but if you’re that much of a C-U-Next-Tuesday, that you enjoy illegally murdering beautiful wild animals, then forgive me if I take a wry smile if the beasts fight back.
According to the story, only the poacher’s head was left. I hope he tasted nice and that the lions enjoyed their meal.
P-P-P-Pick up a Poacher!
This month, BANES Council gave us all wheely bins and changed our rubbish collection to fortnightly. Luckily, the recycling lorry still comes weekly, and as we recycle a lot, have not struggled with too much rubbish – until tonight…
The reason we ran into trouble this evening, is because some selfish neighbour dumped a bin bag in our bin – therefore filling it and preventing us from adding the remainder of our rubbish to it! We were fuming and soon started to speculate who the dirty, cheating so and so might be, and what we should do as revenge.
If you live near to me, and in two weeks time, you find a horses head in your wheely bin, we are onto you!
As you may have seen, the McDonalds Christmas advert was filmed in Bath. Of course, it is all festive and cute. Not very realistic, though. I was expecting to see chavs, in their onesies, flicking fries and the father and his daughter, from another table.
… guess who forgot to pay their hosting fees? They have now been paid, but as a result, my website was down for the last two days. Did you miss anything? Unless you wanted to read stuff from the past 13 years, no. I haven’t blogged since New Year’s Day. Until now…
Since my injury, I am still using the crutch during my recovery. I have been attending Bath City home games without any difficulty, although have avoided travelling on the coach since September. Claire still goes to many of the away games. Today, Bath City were playing Oxford City. However, it was absolutely freezing everywhere. As sure as eggs are eggs, the game would be off. Did Oxford mention anything on their website or Twitter account? Did they hell. This meant Claire had to defrost her car, drive to her parents, pick them up, drive to Twerton Park, wait in the cold for the inevitable announcement that the game was off. It was. My wifey returned to me, under an hour after she left. Looking a tad pissed off and very cold indeed.
Sir David Attenborough confirms the Oxford City pitch is frozen and unplayable.
Remember when I got Grand Theft Auto 5? It was way back in 2013. I must have blogged about it. Anyway, I didn’t finish it, despite absolutely loving the series. The fact the PlayStation 3 was dying, resulting in the fan sounding like a jet engine kind of put me off playing the game. Over three years later, I am actually pleased that the PS3 did snuff it. I am finally an owner of a lush looking PlayStation 4, and guess what… GTA5 is on that too – and it looks even better than the PS3 version! I am therefore enjoying driving about Los Santos, stealing cars and killing people. It sounds atrocious, but it is the most fun since I inflicted life threatening, third degree burns on Dr Robotnik, on Sonic The Hedgehog.
Leeds are still doing worryingly well. Every time I think they’re going to slip up, they end up winning. The Mighty Whites are on Sky tonight (we’re always on Sky these days), against Barnsley. Kick off is in 11 minutes, so I had better wrap up this blog, find a few images to stick to it and upload the whole lot to WordPress.
Welcome back to my blog. I’ve been away from here for a long time, but fear not, I will (hopefully) keep this blogging going again.
So where have I been? I suffered an accident at work, injuring my leg. A pitiful excuse for not blogging, as I don’t type with my toes. I had a bit of time off work, but have since returned, albeit still using a crutch, for the time being.
After a few weeks of not blogging, you find yourself in a situation of where to begin again, even though I had lots of blogworthy stuff…
Besides getting crocked, the following noteworthy things happened to me over the last couple of months.
– Starting a new job. I haven’t travelled far from my old one. No more than 10 feet to be exact. I received a new desk, computer, chair and mouse as part of my transfer fee from the IT Service Desk. The new job is a lot more interesting and gives me a lot to learn. I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, but I had been doing the Service Desk job, in some form, for over ten years. I could therefore do it with my eyes closed. The new challenge is therefore most welcome, although I can’t close my eyes as much anymore.
– Christmas shopping. I hate going into town shopping at the best of times, let alone on the run up to the festive period. The last time I ventured into town in December, I felt like Mufasa from The Lion King, in that wildebeest scene. I therefore did all my Christmas shopping online, most of it coming from Amazon. The delivery drivers must have become well and truly fed up with driving down my little cul-de-sac – no wonder they’re all shitting into carrier bags.
– Leeds United. I started my blog a month before they were relegated from the Premiership in 2004. Since then, most of my posts have been moaning about how badly they have been performing. Coincidentally, since I stopped blogging in September, they’ve been doing bloody well. I have finally recovered from my man crush of Simon Grayson and Luciano Becchio. I have two new heroes in my life – Garry Monk and Pontus Jansson. So well are Leeds doing right now, that if they’re not careful, they’ll end up getting promoted. No doubt the fact I am blogging again, I’ll jinx the entire football club and they’ll be relegated in January.
– Holiday! – we had two holidays planned since I last blogged. The first trip was to Butlins in Minehead. We went there a couple of years ago and enjoyed ourselves so much, we thought we would return. The last time we went, we stayed in a dirty old chalet, on the top of a dangerous looking staircase. This time, we paid a little extra for a cleaner, nicer and modern apartment, right next to the sea. Our second holiday was to Weymouth. This would have been lovely, apart from the fact we didn’t go! We awoke on the morning we were supposed to leave, to find that the house was freezing cold. Upon in investigation, we discovered that the boiler had broken – we had no heating or hot water. Many hours later, we got a plumber to fix it, and both and heat and warmth were restored. By this point, we had missed the chance to go to Weymouth, so enjoyed a few days at home in Bath… at least it was warm.
So that’s what you’ve missed. I’ll be back blogging again in another 3 months. See you in March!
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
